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[-] celsiustimeline@lemmy.dbzer0.com 75 points 2 days ago

Plastic surgery/facelifts/botox, hair dye, makeup, and favorable lighting can make all the difference. You'll eventually look like an inhuman ghoul, but you'll be the sexiest 60 year old for a short while.

[-] pyre@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago

also being rich af helps on its own.

[-] nickhammes@lemmy.world 300 points 3 days ago

Only one of these men taught high school. Coincidence, I think not

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 164 points 3 days ago

also, only one of those men hasn't had plastic surgery and doesn't pay a small fortune to maintain their fake-ass-hair, or their fake-ass-smile.

[-] Pronell@lemmy.world 62 points 3 days ago

Reminder - look at Tom Cruise's teeth. He has a single middle front tooth.

Not shaming him for having had bad teeth of course, just pointing it out. Many other superior reasons to shame him.

[-] FuglyDuck@lemmy.world 36 points 3 days ago

having bad teeth is one thing. Don't get me wrong.

But they dump a small fortune in purely cosmetic stuff, too. They all do. or like their hair. They're probably spending a a few hundred a week to keep that hair looking the way it does. Not to mention the plugs, the rogaine or whatever other thing they're doing to keep from going bald.

(also, for the record, they Cruise looks like a slimeball about to sell a used car to a sucker. brad pit looks a few synapses short of an original thought.)

[-] ThePowerOfGeek@lemmy.world 17 points 3 days ago

Your point made me realize finding... It's kind of weird that Cruise hasn't got his tooth situation fixed considering all the money he's pumped into plastic surgery, hair treatment, thetan persecution, etc.

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[-] ReCursing@lemmings.world 3 points 2 days ago

Cruise looks like a slimeball about to sell a used car to a sucker.

Which is why he was so perfect for Edge Of Tomorrow. I can;t think of anyone else who could be both that slimy and also believable in the action scenes. Excellent movie. i watched it to get to see Cruise get killed a lot, and I got that in spades, but I also got a superb action movie!

[-] forrgott@lemm.ee 7 points 3 days ago

Oh god, now I can't unsee...which is awesome! I'm not gonna be able to do anything but laugh at each and every photo I see of him from now on. So, yeah, thanks! :-D

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[-] some_guy@lemmy.sdf.org 8 points 3 days ago

That’s the best response I’ve seen in a week.

[-] Kecessa@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago

Only one of these men spent over 20 years in the army. Coincidence? I think not...

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[-] cordlesslamp@lemmy.today 131 points 3 days ago

I think that's just how normal human being aged without plastic surgery or cosmetic enhancements.

[-] Lemming6969@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

It's selection bias... They are some of the best looking famous people in the world, no surprise they remain some of the best.

[-] Valmond@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

And lots of plastic surgery.

[-] Snowclone@lemmy.world 1 points 2 days ago

They're also like 2ft tall, so age gradually.

[-] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 days ago

Can comfirm my 3x great grandfather was like five four or some shit and looked like he was 40 when he was 70. Mind you he fed on the souls of anglo americans and mormons but still.

[-] frickineh@lemmy.world 100 points 3 days ago

Well, one of them is an abusive drunk, one is a cult member who has multiple ex-wives who've basically fled the marriage, and one is Tim Walz. Think I'd pick Walz.

[-] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 58 points 3 days ago

My main takeaway is cults and alcohol abuse makes you look young.

But having a loving fulfilling life makes you oh so fuckable. 🤤

[-] frickineh@lemmy.world 28 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Nah, money makes you look young, but it also seems to turn a lot of people into real assholes. Tbh, though, I think people are mistaking handsome for youthful - I don't really think either of them look any younger in the face than Walz, it's just the hair.

[-] shield_gengar@sh.itjust.works 10 points 3 days ago

The average cultist in d&d has more health and stats than regular commoners

[-] mynameisigglepiggle@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

I already own a distillery. Just gotta start a cult and I will become Keanu

[-] Rakonat@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

Having enough money for regular treatments, enhancements and top quality plastic surgeons.

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[-] Nuke_the_whales@lemmy.world 26 points 2 days ago

From what I've heard bread Pitt is bald. I mean if they didn't have the Hollywood money, guys like Pitt would look like the rest of us

bread Pitt

You might be thinking of Brad Pita.

[-] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 2 days ago

I guarantee you he has plugs, now the question is does that qualify as bald? I mean, if he went bald and had it surgically altered so he's now not, is he or isn't he? Modern day philosophy and shit.

[-] A7thStone@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

Plastic surgery is the real ship of Theseus

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[-] yesman@lemmy.world 57 points 3 days ago

Superstar actors are more attractive than the general population? Next your going to tell me that a professional athletes of his age are in better shape.

[-] GoosLife@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Actually, I'm pretty sure professional athletes of his age would be in worse shape. Professional athletes tend to give their bodies a pretty brutal beating for years in the sprint towards pushing themselves to the absolute extreme limits of what the human body can do. This is also not healthy or natural, just on the other end of the scale from a sedentary lifestyle.

I mean, I got your point, I just felt like it was worth pointing out that athletes aren't necessarily symbols of health, especially not in the later stages of life.

[-] MsPenguinette@lemmy.world 56 points 3 days ago

What money will do to a mf

[-] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 14 points 2 days ago

These are people Tim Walz's age or older

[-] _stranger_@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

Someone needs to get Hank Azaria to play Rudy Giuliani in a biopic.

[-] SassyRamen@lemmy.world 12 points 2 days ago

Only if he dresses like this the entire time. Well

[-] Irf23@eviltoast.org 4 points 2 days ago

“Ah Luban, you are here for the scuba?”

[-] bruhbeans@lemmy.ml 36 points 3 days ago

To be fair, these days Tom Cruise looks like someone wearing a Tom Cruise mask

[-] jaybone@lemmy.world 16 points 3 days ago

He kind of always looked that way.

[-] Venator@lemmy.nz 10 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago)
[-] 21Cabbage@lemmynsfw.com 20 points 3 days ago
[-] jordanlund@lemmy.world 26 points 3 days ago

Helps having money and personal assistants. :)

Walz is only 5 years older than me, but he did hit the 60 threshhold:

https://www.nature.com/articles/d41586-024-02707-9

[-] TachyonTele@lemm.ee 19 points 3 days ago

That's because Waltz has worked real jobs his whole life.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 14 points 3 days ago

Honestly, I'd rather look like Tim Walz. Looking like either of those other two sounds kind of exhausting.

[-] nightwatch_admin@feddit.nl 8 points 3 days ago

Johnny Depp: “The youngest, you say?”

[-] Dhar@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 days ago

That clean Midwestern living really ages ya.

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this post was submitted on 02 Oct 2024
753 points (97.7% liked)

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