1198
Now I want one (i.postimg.cc)
submitted 1 day ago by sag@lemm.ee to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[-] rsuri@lemmy.world 63 points 1 day ago

And unlike most kinds of chain mail, this one is also effective at protecting the user from any thrusting attacks that could lead to penetration.

[-] scutiger@lemmy.world 16 points 1 day ago

Some of us are into penetration

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[-] comador@lemmy.world 138 points 1 day ago

Great until it grabs some skin or hair

[-] Wolf314159@startrek.website 31 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Have you ever worn chainmail without an undershirt? Or gambeson? It feels neat at first. Never had to worry about pinching. It didn't grab any hair. The metal will feel cool and smooth all night. But oh Lord, the awful pain it will bring to unprotected virgin nipples. Like surfing for a hundred years without a rash guard all in one hedonistic night concentrated on the area less than two dimes. NEVER AGAIN. A couple bandaids or pasties the next time and all is good.

I think you'll be fine with just a top sheet between you and the chainmail.

[-] Event_Horizon@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago

So what you're saying is, he needs to add nipple holes!

[-] atomicorange@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

This explains the lesser known war cry of

"Don't fire until you see the pink of their nips"

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 97 points 1 day ago

sleeps in the nude

Nutsack gets pinched

[-] skulblaka@sh.itjust.works 91 points 1 day ago

Everyone knows you're supposed to wear a gambeson beneath your chainmail. Leather or padded cloth is best.

Ergo, full body gimp suit before bed

[-] meliaesc@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

Oh good so I just need the chainmail.

[-] MehBlah@lemmy.world 25 points 1 day ago
[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago

I understand that reference

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago
[-] MehBlah@lemmy.world 19 points 1 day ago

A not quite twenty year old thread where a guy got his nuts pinched in a chair and asked the internet for help

https://www.fark.com/comments/2018473/Im-stuck-to-my-chair-Im-so-very-scared-Help-Details-In-thread

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

It seems very likely that I don't want to click that, but I appreciate the clarification.

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 9 points 1 day ago

I can confirm that’s the source. Don’t worry about clicking it, most of the images are lost to time.

Which is a shame. It was hilarious.

[-] toynbee@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

Maybe we should have some kind of archive of the internet so this isn't a concern! Oh wait.

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[-] umbrella@lemmy.ml 19 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

ill buzz my entire body for the heatsinking properties of aluminium, on this infernal heat

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 3 points 1 day ago

And cover your nipples with bandages.

[-] ODuffer@lemmy.world 61 points 1 day ago

You got Mail

[-] imPastaSyndrome@lemm.ee 70 points 1 day ago

Prevents some forms of murder!

[-] gibmiser@lemmy.world 48 points 1 day ago

Assassin shows up like. Bro whatthefuck is this?

[-] SSJMarx@lemm.ee 13 points 1 day ago

Never worry about Nazgûl again!

[-] lennivelkant@discuss.tchncs.de 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Pretty sure the Nazgûl use stabby weapons, where chainmail is less effective (not completely useless, but an unlucky thrust may split the rings).

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[-] Apeman42@lemmy.world 44 points 1 day ago

They make loosely braided weighted blankets. They won't be as cool as this, but they allow for plenty of weight while still maintaining good airflow. And a far lower risk of scrotum/labia/nipple tragedy.

[-] Tai@lemm.ee 16 points 1 day ago

Any of those would make a great band name.

[-] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

Wait holy shit you're right:

Risk of Scrotum

Risk of Labia

Risk of Nipple

Scrotum Tragedy

Labia Tragedy

Nipple Tragedy

Far Lower Scrotum

Far Lower Labia

Far Lower Nipple (uh?)

Lower Scrotum Tragedy

Lower Labia Tragedy

Lower Nipple Tragedy (ok, idk who had a lower Nipple but it's weird that it's in the list twice)

Lower Risk Scrotum

Lower Risk Labia

Lower Risk Nipple

Shit, this might be the biggest combo of band names in a single sentence I've ever seen

[-] SmackemWittadic@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Far Lower Nipple (uh?)

That's the clitoris I think

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I'd be more interested in this for the weight. I want more weighted blanket than I can usually find, and I'm guessing this is heavier than that.

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[-] morrowind@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 day ago
[-] RecluseRamble@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 day ago

Earplugs were a game changer for my sleep.

[-] LemmyKnowsBest@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

He wakes everyone within a hundred foot radius every time he tosses & turns

[-] queermunist@lemmy.ml 13 points 1 day ago

Oh fuck I was just thinking about how to solve my need for a heavy blanket while not constantly overheating and waking up.

[-] Restaldt@lemmy.world 39 points 1 day ago

Bros 'tism yearns for the smithy

[-] nick@midwest.social 14 points 1 day ago

Ow my leg hair ow my back hair ow my arm hair.

[-] pennomi@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

What’s worse is this looks like butted mail instead of riveted mail, so it’ll have lots and lots of little snaggy pokey bits.

[-] dual_sport_dork@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

I can't tell from the potato quality of the pic, but that's likely. Additionally, for contact with anything that hasn't got a layer of leather between it and me, I would really prefer to have welded rings. Riveted ones are also quite the chafe.

It appears that whatever pattern this is isn't a typical 1-in-4 or 1-in-6, so I have no idea how it's actually constructed.

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[-] RizzRustbolt@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago
[-] RagingRobot@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Yeah my pubes would get stuck in there too lol ouch

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[-] PrimeErective@startrek.website 4 points 1 day ago

That's rash city, Jake, rash city!

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[-] Fosheze@lemmy.world 13 points 1 day ago

Fuck, now I want to get into making chainmail. Time to pick up another hobby I guess.

[-] Cenotaph@mander.xyz 9 points 1 day ago

Careful, from what I hear its an incredibly time consuming one

[-] Fosheze@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

It's like knitting but for MEN™.

~/s obviously~

[-] Cenotaph@mander.xyz 7 points 1 day ago

Coming in scents like "PRIMEVAL GRIME" and "WOODCHIPPER"

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[-] peopleproblems@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

That's an understatement.

If anyone does want to get into it, don't do steel. Steel is cheap as shit, but you'll get carpal tunnel before you finish your first bag, belt or tie.

Idk if you can get like 16 gauge aluminum wire, but that would be far easier to work with. Or brass. just don't do steel

[-] JiveTurkey@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Seems like you would want to use stainless steel instead of aluminum if you're going for weight.

Edit: Yes I realize there are better conductors of heat but for the sake of using corrosion resistant welding materials I went with stainless.

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[-] RoidingOldMan@lemmy.world 11 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Is this how those people ended up with random piercings/earrings all over their body? Like Xerxes in 300.

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this post was submitted on 11 Oct 2024
1198 points (99.4% liked)

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