Step 8: wake up for real this time. It's 9:30 and you're late.
wake up whwnever, alarm usually foea off 8:30. Maybe i hit snooze a buncha times
start work at 10. Wfh, pants optional
work according to load, mostly fart about house.
Take a long walk for lunch, usually blow out my step requirements
fuck off work 3:30, go fuck around in garden until sun sets
big fat dinner sitting on my arse watching telly with hubs, then gaming after he goes to bed at 9ish
bed around 1ish under fat purring cat.
Tldr guy only works 3 hours a day
I mean, same honestly. Thank god for remote working (but if any hiring managers are reading I totally work all day at home).
3 hours a day is pretty solid, but don't tell the blue collars
In all seriousness, 3 hours of actual solid work, uninterrupted by meetings or whatever... That's not as unusual as it might sound. This survey puts the average worker at <3 productive hours per day, and this one at around 4 hours.
Pain
Here’s my morning routine:
Wake up at 8 (assuming a crying baby doesn’t wake me up sooner)
Change diapers
Spend time with my wife and sons
Walk to the grocery store with my toddler (3500 steps round trip or so)
Drink a kombucha on the way home (coffee raises my cholesterol and gives me awful anxiety symptoms)
Change diapers
Take my toddler to the playground, weather permitting
Have lunch with my wife and sons
Read books to my toddler, change his diaper, and put him down for a nap
Think about how I’m leaving the USA next year partially because American work culture is absolute trash
I’m on paternity leave and it’s been the best part of my career. As in not working at all is the best part of my career. How fucked is that?
I would gladly change diapers and hang out with screaming kids all day instead of dealing with my dumb ass coworkers and people who can’t honor a meeting invite planned weeks out but then expect me to “hop on a quick call” which then achieves nothing. Between the constant threat of layoffs and losing my livelihood and the political backdrop of having my family deported because they’re too dark a shade of brown and speak Spanish sometimes?
Fuck this place. I’m out.
Dealing with my toddler is frequently more rational than dealing with my coworkers. Most of em are good, but the ones that are outside my normal bubble drive me insane.
Paternity leave was the best part of my job, too. I wish I got more, and it's criminal that many dads get very little, if any.
Also I don't really know the best way to say "sorry for this weird mess of a country," but I'm sorry. That sounds very stressful to say the least.
This man's colleague when he's just wasted three hours doing work he didn't have to: "but I sent you an email three hours ago about it?"
I wake up at 5:30 because my arsehole boss insists that I’m at my desk at 7am.
As a result I’m tired all the time and get fuck all done.
I saw this multiple times already on Linkedin reposted with huge engagement.
While I understand this is borderline fiction, absolutely unrealistic and in my eyes an equivalent of those pictures with pretty girls laughing with a plate of salad promoting healthy eating, but for me the comment section of this post is the cherry on top cheering how "brilliant" this is. People are so fucked up on Linkedin.
I think people are fucked up on Linkedin because it's a self-marketing site, so they are selling a fake version of themselves. Wait that sounds like another version of Facebook and Instagram...
"No meetings before 2pm", "saying no is a superpower" yeah brill mate I'll just say no to my boss multiple times a morning forever and absolutely won't get fired for being difficult thanks Matt xo
I prefer the other Matt Gray tbh, he's funnier and doesn't tell me to wake up at 5:30 when I've just gotten to sleep...
"I wake up at 5:30 because I fall asleep at 18:30. Everyone should try to live like this bro"
I fucking hate how it is only socially accepted to wake up early. Work life only centers around the early risers and everyone else must suffer. Want to start working at 09:30 and stay for longer? How about a meeting at 8:30? Just be a team player
I saw a meme the other day about early risers being an oppressing class, and I’ve thought about it a lot.
Morning people are an oppressive class.
The thing that's so irritating to me isn't the tone, isn't the weird preaching, isn't the push to follow on social media. What gets me (as it always does) is that assholes like this push their message as a one-size-fits-all message.
Assholes like this always think everyone else works just like them, and it makes me crazy.
The only thought I'm connecting with at 5:30 in the fucking morning is "I'm so tired, I want to go back to sleep".
This isn't terrible advice, but it's presented in such a way that I want to strike the author for being such a smug prick.
Yeah focused work is great and pomodoro timers can help you achieve it by breaking out down into smaller chunks. But this image was just grating to read, and it seemed to imply only working 3 hours per day.
Fuck right off.
I wake up earlier than that these days yet i somehow manage to stay far less smug about it. Though i will gladly fuck off, it's a ridiculous time to be waking up
"Saying 'no' is a superpower, it will lead you to your true calling. Trust your instincts."
"Want my morning routine checklist? Follow Matt Gray"
No. ( :
By 10am? You reach 10am by step 4.
Also number 7 contradicts 4. Phone calls can be meetings. But what do I know.
Those are X in boxes next to those in step four. I believe they're saying "no phone calls, no emails and no dealing with notifications".
wake up at 5.30 so you can be at your top shape by 8 am and earn that yacht for your CEO!
Funny how it's not the worst idea but "this alone separates you from 99% of people" is like putting poison in soup and now the whole thing is ruined.
It didn't say it was better than that 99%; just separate.
I’ve loathed people based on less information before, but not with this intensity.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
Hey, bud. I can't leave the office after just getting there to go lift weights. I also have zero control over 80% of the meetings I attend. Dude has no idea how privileged he is.
Wake up at 5:30 and not have to deal with any bullshit from anyone else until 2pm sharp. 8.5 uninterrupted hours for long walks, "deep work," and weightlifting. You know, the typical work day.
Imagine a cup of coffee being all you look forward to.
"No meetings before 2pm (when the eastern hemisphere people are going to sleep)" that'll go over well.
"Boosts testosterone". I bet this dude thinks of himself as an alpha male.
Terms like "connect", "be present", "superpower" tell me this is not for the average working person, but the higher paid bosses of such people who can do whatever they want.
It was the "no meetings before 2pm" and "3 hours of no distraction" that gave it away for me.
There is a single insightful line in this whole image:
Your biggest enemy is distractions.
Unfortunately, this image is one of those distractions.
A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com
(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)
