Tldr guy only works 3 hours a day
I wake up at 5:30 because my arsehole boss insists that I’m at my desk at 7am.
As a result I’m tired all the time and get fuck all done.
Here’s my morning routine:
Wake up at 8 (assuming a crying baby doesn’t wake me up sooner)
Change diapers
Spend time with my wife and sons
Walk to the grocery store with my toddler (3500 steps round trip or so)
Drink a kombucha on the way home (coffee raises my cholesterol and gives me awful anxiety symptoms)
Change diapers
Take my toddler to the playground, weather permitting
Have lunch with my wife and sons
Read books to my toddler, change his diaper, and put him down for a nap
Think about how I’m leaving the USA next year because LinkedIn and American work culture are absolute trash
I’m on paternity leave and it’s been the best part of my career. As in not working at all is the best part of my career. How fucked is that?
I would gladly change diapers and hang out with screaming kids all day instead of dealing with my dumb ass coworkers and people who can’t honor a meeting invite planned weeks out but then expect me to “hop on a quick call” which then achieves nothing. The constant threat of layoffs and losing my livelihood. The political backdrop of having my family deported because they’re too dark a shade of brown and speak Spanish sometimes.
Fuck this place. I’m out.
I saw this multiple times already on Linkedin reposted with huge engagement.
While I understand this is borderline fiction, absolutely unrealistic and in my eyes an equivalent of those pictures with pretty girls laughing with a plate of salad promoting healthy eating, but for me the comment section of this post is the cherry on top cheering how "brilliant" this is. People are so fucked up on Linkedin.
"No meetings before 2pm", "saying no is a superpower" yeah brill mate I'll just say no to my boss multiple times a morning forever and absolutely won't get fired for being difficult thanks Matt xo
I prefer the other Matt Gray tbh, he's funnier and doesn't tell me to wake up at 5:30 when I've just gotten to sleep...
"I wake up at 5:30 because I fall asleep at 18:30. Everyone should try to live like this bro"
I fucking hate how it is only socially accepted to wake up early. Work life only centers around the early risers and everyone else must suffer. Want to start working at 09:30 and stay for longer? How about a meeting at 8:30? Just be a team player
Morning people are an oppressive class.
I saw a meme the other day about early risers being an oppressing class, and I’ve thought about it a lot.
The thing that's so irritating to me isn't the tone, isn't the weird preaching, isn't the push to follow on social media. What gets me (as it always does) is that assholes like this push their message as a one-size-fits-all message.
Assholes like this always think everyone else works just like them, and it makes me crazy.
The only thought I'm connecting with at 5:30 in the fucking morning is "I'm so tired, I want to go back to sleep".
This isn't terrible advice, but it's presented in such a way that I want to strike the author for being such a smug prick.
By 10am? You reach 10am by step 4.
Also number 7 contradicts 4. Phone calls can be meetings. But what do I know.
Those are X in boxes next to those in step four. I believe they're saying "no phone calls, no emails and no dealing with notifications".
Fuck right off.
I wake up earlier than that these days yet i somehow manage to stay far less smug about it. Though i will gladly fuck off, it's a ridiculous time to be waking up
"Saying 'no' is a superpower, it will lead you to your true calling. Trust your instincts."
"Want my morning routine checklist? Follow Matt Gray"
No. ( :
wake up at 5.30 so you can be at your top shape by 8 am and earn that yacht for your CEO!
Funny how it's not the worst idea but "this alone separates you from 99% of people" is like putting poison in soup and now the whole thing is ruined.
It didn't say it was better than that 99%; just separate.
All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.
"No meetings before 2pm (when the eastern hemisphere people are going to sleep)" that'll go over well.
I’ve loathed people based on less information before, but not with this intensity.
Imagine a cup of coffee being all you look forward to.
Hey, bud. I can't leave the office after just getting there to go lift weights. I also have zero control over 80% of the meetings I attend. Dude has no idea how privileged he is.
Wake up at 5:30 and not have to deal with any bullshit from anyone else until 2pm sharp. 8.5 uninterrupted hours for long walks, "deep work," and weightlifting. You know, the typical work day.
Saying NO is a superpower!
"Hey, Sanctus. Where are you going? I was hoping you'd finish that report before noon?"
NO
"Uh, OK? Guess I'll see you at the meeting with our main customer then."
NO
See how easy that is?
Mate, it's impossible to work with you, we'll have to make you redundant, I'm sorry.
NO
Reminds me of that one scene in the first episode of Coupling where Jane refuses to be dumped.
How's your shift going? Looks like a pretty busy morning! Hey could you please make sure you catch the markdown on the bread? The bakery counter didn't cover up the old barcode properly.
NO
There is a single insightful line in this whole image:
Your biggest enemy is distractions.
Unfortunately, this image is one of those distractions.
"Boosts testosterone". I bet this dude thinks of himself as an alpha male.
Soon to be a bald one, too.
Terms like "connect", "be present", "superpower" tell me this is not for the average working person, but the higher paid bosses of such people who can do whatever they want.
It was the "no meetings before 2pm" and "3 hours of no distraction" that gave it away for me.
every great accomplishment happens in the mornings if you're only ever awake during the mornings.
This is unironically close to my routine. I wake up at 5, walk the dog for 30-60 minutes, have breakfast, then start work before anyone else so I can get shit done before people start showing up. I wrap up my day around 2pm, walk for 1-2 hours, make dinner, then chill. It's worked well for me.
You forgot to tell us what time you lift weights
I don't lift weights these days. I need to work on that.
He walks the dog. He doesn't say anything about the dogs walking. I'm guessing he does dog curls on that walk.
Wake up at 5:30am
Counter offer: go to hell
Couple big problems -
To start, this is a morning routine, not a mourning routine. While it is true that I often mourn the morn, dude needs to learn how to spell.
Second, if you're up at 5:30, and not drinking coffee until 7am, and then have 3 hours of focused work, that right there is 10am. Your morning is supposed to be 'won' by this point, and you still haven't gotten to the weight training part of your morning.
mourning
This is a sense of grief or loss, usually over the deceased.
emails
This is a conjugated verb. Like 'traffic', the noun should NEVER get an S; no matter how much Felicia says, for the same reason 'cattles' is wrong.
Learn to spell when you're going to ink it in. Respect the medium and its lack of an 'undo' feature.
This is a conjugated verb. Like ‘traffic’, the noun should NEVER get an S; no matter how much Felicia says, for the same reason ‘cattles’ is wrong.
If most people use it that way it is the standard. There is no wrong or right in language. Only an aggreed upon standard in a specific group. When studying english linguistics that was one of the very early lessons. And if you like prescriptivism: I had a look at what Merriam Webster had to say and they have an example for emails as a plural.
this is the second time ive seen you claim that emails is incorrect and youre interesting for that
"I sent Linda 4 separate emails about this."
I kind of want to know who Felicia is.
A place to post ridiculous posts from linkedIn.com
(Full transparency.. a mod for this sub happens to work there.. but that doesn't influence his moderation or laughter at a lot of posts.)
