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The smell of blood in the night, the sound of squelching coming from the basement door that I know I boarded up, and the sight of my late wife holding what was once our son.
I think a lot of us can relate.
A lot of things. I have an anxiety disorder.
Same, fam
It's never easy, but it does get easier
Unless it doesn't, but hey, I don't want to worry you
Same for me. It pretty much ruined my life. I don't know how to cure this.
Meditation helps with the symptoms, but I've got fuck-all for the causes.
Loud drunk people being nearby. Drunk people are unpredictable and impulsive and things can get awful really quickly.
The energy in a room full of people.
It depends on the people though, but mostly, nah.
I really don't like crowds and avoid them as much as I can.
But I really love concerts. When the energy of everyone around you just kinda syncs with the music, it's one of the best feelings.
Exactly what i meant. There are concerts that i'll never forget.
Thinking about non-existence.
It's kinda peaceful, knowing that I'll just end and nothing will matter anymore for the rest of eternity.
The prospect of living for eternity is so much scarier; basically nightmare fuel.
2 dudes showing PDA. Really any PDA makes me cringe but 2 dudes has always grossed me out too much to not turn away. Have gay friends, best friend has a gay dad, Im eskimo brothers with a former chick who was a dude waiting to have the surgery to be a dude before any gender related shit was making headlines, I also worked for years as both a chef and a male nurse that gave me a higher than average exposure to gay coworker dudes compared to other industries I've worked in. I love them all and love(ed) hanging out with any one of them but when it comes to actually seeing the gay shit, I can't do it. I gotta turn away or see what's going on in other rooms. Seeing a dude and a chick or 2 chick's is more roll the eyes kind of cringe but the 2 dudes is more of a physically grossed out feeling. If that's homophobic then fuck it I guess I'm homophobic.
This was refreshingly really candid
I don't feel this way about dudes kissing or PDA, but if I accidentally click the wrong link or scroll past a thumbnail with some explicit gay porn, I feel the exact same visceral disgust.
That's how I OG confirmed I'm not gay back in the day. Trying to watch gay porn and having my dick shrivel like a frightened turtle; wanting nothing to do with it.
If you're interested to work on this within yourself, of course getting professional help with a therapist would be best but you could also try some simple exposure therapy on your own. Maybe watch some shows and movies featuring normalized gay relationships. Use that to slow-drip the normality of gay PDA's existence into your experience.
Here's a Rotten Tomatoes list you could browse to get started. I think you might want to look for stuff where you can follow and enjoy the plot as well as see gay characters showing PDA. You can try doing this at your own pace to work on slowly desensitizing whatever cringey bit in your mind is having these homophobic reactions and messing with your ability to deal with public reality.
If you are interested in this idea I'd suggest sticking with mainstream films and avoiding porn. Even though it's really available and even if porn in general is your thing, porn generally isn't the best way to constructively work on your own sexual education. I think since it's PDA you're dealing with you'd be much better off with stuff that can teach your brain about the human side of PDA in our society, portrayed outside of the performative sex acts found in porn.
It's very interesting that despite all of your exposure to gay people that you have this sort of reaction. Why do you think you have this sort of a reaction with two men but not with a man and a woman? Do you think you have any sort of idea?
No different than seeing two fat ugly people showing PDA. Some things I find beautiful. Some things i find infuriating. Some things I find yummy. Some things I find funny. Some things I find gross. There will have to be an avalanche of shit falling off my priority ladder before I make room to spend time figuring out why I find something gross.
What is pda?
I see. Ty!
I find perspectives like yours interesting because I experienced something similar when I was a closeted bisexual, and working through internalised homophobia was necessary for me. However, I have gay friends who are icked out by heterosexual PDA, and so I don't feel comfortable assuming that what you're experiencing is homophobia without applying a similar lens to what my friends feel (which feels wrong, because as a bisexual, I find both The Gays and The Straights deeply confusing)
*then lol
Whe don't unfold my phone my thumb takes up almost 6 keys so forgive the autocorrect thsn to than instead of then
This might technically count as physical, but when drawing or writing I really hate the texture of some tools or mediums
Dull pencils, dry markers, cardboard, chalkboards (or maybe just chalk) all make me super uncomfortable.
It's hard to describe. It's like getting shivers, I hate the sound and feel of it
Ooh yeah that one is a classic
Being forced to stop doing a thing I'm in the middle of.
My own answer is what got me thinking of the question.
People cheering for, happily celebrating or laughing at death or people dying.
At least to me, death is dark, serious, grim and horrible on a very fundamental level. Even if it is deserved or necessary it just isn't something to be elated about. Human beings dying don't combine with happy feelings.
I find it literally sickening. Usually it's been in the context of people behaving horribly (for instance suicide encouragement, terrorism etc.) but todays lemmy feed also brought it out, and really made me think about why it made me feel that way.
Same. I totally get that the victim was a real horse's ass (to put it very mildly) and about as unsympathetic as they come, but the response here has just been beyond sickening. Let's just say my "block" button has been quite busy the last couple days.
you are thinking about the CEO. I'm not cheering, but it makes me a little happier. to me it's not like death (it does not feel like it, but I of course know it is that), but getting rid of a threat to humanity. maybe it also contributes that I don't count rich, highly influential people as humans, but as disgusting parasites that have no place anywhere near they are. of course there may be exceptions, but that's a very rare
capitalism
Health insurance company stocks.
~~Health insurance~~ company stocks.
Wet chewing sounds
Intrusive thoughts. Ugh I get a lot of them especially about sexual things between friends or something and it's just the worst. I have to close my eyes hard and use all my tricks to try to get it to stop.
Mine tell me to kill myself or tell people who don't respect it my opinion on something or sometimes strangle them if they're particularly offensive. Honestly I still think I prefer mine.
Weird flowers and about 50% of all things living in the sea
The realization that most of my family, given the rise of fascism, would be fascist enablers. Same with like 90% of the people at work.
The first season of The Office (US version).
Someone telling me about their dream in a great detail.
There was a Family Guy skit about this that always plays in my mind when someone starts telling me about their dream.
Capitalism
When I watch rock climbing films my palms sweat.
Certain people trying to seem cool, me giving presentations, (now come some arguably physical more things) loud noises, irritating noises, the sound of velcro, velcro stuck to something it shouldn't be, getting a fingernail stuck on cloth (especially wool blankets), the way people mash buttons on their phones/computers instead of reading the error code/pop up
I can probably think of more
Chemistry
Dishonor.
Being near or seeing someone wear a winter coat in a gym, warehouse, or heated building. The asshole lifting weights in a fucking puffer jacket just existed but ugh the sight made me so nauseated and angry. Wear those shits OUTSIDE ffs. Fucking annoying as hell.
Anyone with a tattoo of drugs. Cool, you're a slave to a substance and you take pride in it. You really love being a lifeless puppet animated by a drug huh? You traded your humanity for "happiness". Was it worth it, eh stoner?
Anyone who enjoys true crime. You might as well be a murderer yourself, covered in blood and dismembered body parts. Gross as fuck. Get OUT of my life.
this post was submitted on 06 Dec 2024
51 points (94.7% liked)
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