7

From the article:

Sadly, the woman I briefly dated is not alone in her beliefs. In a survey of over 1,000 women, conducted by Glamour in 2016, 63% of women said they wouldn’t date a man who’s had sex with another man. (This isn’t just men who identify as bi. This includes all men who’ve experimented with another man, even if it only happened once!) Still, 47% of women said they've been attracted to another woman, and 31% of women have had a sexual experience with another woman.

NOTE: This is not the titular study but is used to establish context. The study can be found here: https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/15299716.2018.1563935?journalCode=wjbi20
If anybody happens to be able to find the fulltext please feel free to link it.

top 18 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] Veraticus@lib.lgbt 4 points 1 year ago

Yeah I don't think this is super surprising unfortunately.

Being a man and dating men undermines patriarchial conceptions of masculinity. A lot of these conceptions are very deeply-held; I think it's easy to consider acceptance easy when it's academic or theoretical, but when it becomes personal all bets are off. Think of all the pro-gay parents, who, when their children come out, completely flip out.

I think there's also, tragically, a large element of HIV stigma in here.

[-] spaduf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago

HIV stigma has a huge role to play in the history of the phenomena. See AIDS SPECTER FOR WOMEN: THE BISEXUAL MAN

[-] spaduf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Here's a relevant video on the topic. I tried to post it but folks don't seem to like the title. It's primarily about the history there: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbHhIeYL9no

[-] intensely_human@lemm.ee -2 points 1 year ago

Patriarchal conceptions of masculinity is aka the instincts of straight female humans.

Everyone wants to blame culture, and via the word “patriarchy” they want to blame men, for this kind of thing but it’s way deeper than that.

[-] BloodForTheBloodGod@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 year ago

straight female humans.

[-] Vilian@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago

what thw fuckn i recomend you to go outside, what a bullshit, and this isn't a pro-gender war community, stop spreading that, no, actually, go to your red pill/incel instances, just from you using "female" i can feel the misoginy, pleaae, let us alone

[-] hastati@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

Why do you say “female” but follow it with “men” instead of “male”? Makes you seem like an incel or some men’s rights nut job.

[-] Veraticus@lib.lgbt 1 points 1 year ago

No, this isn't just women; it is patriarchy, the entire set of power and systems that everyone participates in. Men blame men for being bisexual at least as much as women do.

[-] Vilian@lemmy.ca 2 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

please, don't waste words, look of his others comments, just report if you want, but i don't they can be convised to let go the hate

[-] spaduf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 year ago

To be fair, in this case I doubt they broke any rules. Speaking up always does more than downvotes. Particularly true for those of us on instances without downvotes.

[-] fratermus@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 1 year ago

Our obsession with gender and gender roles infects/affects everything, and makes as little sense as obsessing about whether someone is left-handed, right-handed, or ambidextrous. Seriously, why should anyone care about how others dress, how they identify, or who they choose to sleep with?

IME there is substantial correlation between religiosity and an obsession with gender. On my more cynical days I might suggest there is a causal relationship.

[-] xantoxis@lemmy.one 1 points 1 year ago

The title's message is not supported by the 2019 study.

They found lower levels of agreement with the statements around attraction to mlm, but not zero. Just less than straight men. Unless you thought women held no homophobia at all, this isn't even remotely surprising. It's barely interesting. Meanwhile women who rated lower on homophobia preferred bi men.

So date bi women. Or date gay men who, according to the survey, do not have the same biphobic prejudice.

[-] spaduf@lemmy.blahaj.zone 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This is a great point regarding the title but I do not think it is particularly productive to simply say date groups without degrees of prejudice towards yourself. Even though this is pragmatic life advice that I subscribe to, the groups you're talking about excluding make up the vast majority of potential partners and for those who have a hard time finding queer spaces to meet people the advice can be nearly impossible to follow.

[-] Vilian@lemmy.ca 0 points 1 year ago

this is because of insecurity from these womans in dating bi-men, or they see them as less manly, and thus "weak" in patriarchy's view?

[-] nodiet@feddit.de 1 points 1 year ago

My (bi) ex gf was quite insecure and said she couldn't date a bi man because she would get jealous of all his friends rather than just his female ones.

[-] idkwhatimdoing@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I've found a lot of women don't believe men can be "as" bi as women can be, and there's this suspicion that if a guy has ever been (or just wanted to be) with another guy, they must be more into guys than women, and wen don't want to have to wonder/worry about that. I think this is just a reflection of societal implications around male and female gayness being different though, that women are accepted to exist on more of a spectrum (perhaps because attraction to women feels natural to straight men, so it is less "surprising" or foreign to see even other women feel it), while men are considered more binary.

[-] Turkey_Titty_city@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

it's more like, male on male sex is considered disgusting, female on female sex isn't.

probably because male on male sex assumes anal penetration.

[-] idkwhatimdoing@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

This is purely anecdotal, but I think that's more in line with other unaccepting straight men's reaction than straight women's (especially since a lot of straight women are into/fine with anal too). I think with women it in many ways comes down to the fact that everyone has been conditioned to think that guys are either 100% gay or 100% straight, while it can be sexy or desirable for a women to go both ways.

this post was submitted on 24 Jul 2023
7 points (100.0% liked)

Men's Liberation

1838 readers
1 users here now

This community is first and foremost a feminist community for men and masc people, but it is also a place to talk about men’s issues with a particular focus on intersectionality.


Rules

Everybody is welcome, but this is primarily a space for men and masc people


Non-masculine perspectives are incredibly important in making sure that the lived experiences of others are present in discussions on masculinity, but please remember that this is a space to discuss issues pertaining to men and masc individuals. Be kind, open-minded, and take care that you aren't talking over men expressing their own lived experiences.



Be productive


Be proactive in forming a productive discussion. Constructive criticism of our community is fine, but if you mainly criticize feminism or other people's efforts to solve gender issues, your post/comment will be removed.

Keep the following guidelines in mind when posting:

  • Build upon the OP
  • Discuss concepts rather than semantics
  • No low effort comments
  • No personal attacks


Assume good faith


Do not call other submitters' personal experiences into question.



No bigotry


Slurs, hate speech, and negative stereotyping towards marginalized groups will not be tolerated.



No brigading


Do not participate if you have been linked to this discussion from elsewhere. Similarly, links to elsewhere on the threadiverse must promote constructive discussion of men’s issues.



Recommended Reading

Related Communities

!feminism@beehaw.org
!askmen@lemmy.world
!mensmentalhealth@lemmy.world


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS