please use hydrogen and not helium if you do this.
Helium is a precious, essential, non-renewable resource that the world is actually running out of.
Now I'm just imagining them coming back down, combusting, and people thinking the war of Armageddon has begun.
Is this why I can't just go to the party store and buy hydrogen filled balloons?
Yes, you really don't want an unplanned indoors Hindenburg reenactment because someone got too close to the birthday cake. Also it's difficult to store
But easy to make.
St Peter checked them at the gates and all got sent back
"The fuck made you think Paul was so important?! The dude was one of the false prophets Jesus warned about, you morons!" -St. Peter, probably
Better yet, attach a small explosive to them so once they get enough attention and people think the rapture is coming they suddenly burst into flames and explode.
That way the Christians really won't know what to think.
"God works in mysterious, explosive ways."
That's something I find funny. The second most abundant element in the universe and we're running out of our supply.
It's not a laughing matter. The world used to be He He He He He He He but soon there'll be no more He He He.
Because we don't have spaceships to go out into the universe to collect it, so all we have is what has been trapped in deposits underground.
and a lot of it has been wasted on stupid shit like party balloons, and the overwhelming majority of the population does not understand how critically important helium is to manufacturing and medicine.
I don't know, but I feel like the party industry pales in comparison to industrial users. Do you have any reliable numbers?
@state_electrician @Dubious_Fart, the most abundant element in the universe, not renevable, is human stupidity
You're right but the real advice is: just don't do this at all. These balloons pollute our oceans and forests.
Fuck the ocean, everything in there is scary and dangerous, we should nuke the sharks. Mostly /s
The height of "edgy" in the Eighties was a "Nuke a Gay Whale for Jesus" bumper sticker.
we've already done that. mostly. no /s unfortunately
What could go wrong.
Don't cover the sex dolls in what amounts to thermite and you should be fine.
Some cathing fire would probably help sell it: those poor sinners didn't get in!
Scarcity smarcity - do it so you can attach tiny timed fireworks to them, at the feet so they float upright and then EXPLODE at like 1000 feet
Just release them far away from any power lines
Given the type of people that we are targeting here I think that helium blow-up dolls are are a bit of a waste, especially considering the scale that we would need to perform this on to actually make it somewhat believable. Better would be to use hydrogen, its soo much cheaper than helium, has better lift, and is not a limited resource. Along with that a custom order of human shaped and roughly human colored (with painted on clothes patterns) balloons would work better. Likely a lot cheaper if done at larger scales, blow up dolls are made of tougher material than your average balloon. This would also allow for the pursuit of more sustainable materials given that we are just sort of releasing this stuff into the sky.
There is also a matter of making it realistic. If we are limiting to maybe one city then its best to create some devices that automatically release them on timed schedules. load these up with a handful of people balloons each and let them release with increasing frequency throughout the day. Should be a bit more convincing and gets a bigger effect. For cleanup we already filled these guys with hydrogen, so why not just light them up. might make for a good effect and leave less waste to be examined, making it more difficult to prove that this is not a rapture event.
You got it all tought out beforehand didn't you?
Dude was waiting for this moment a long time!
Sounds like a plan. I'm in
That bottom left picture is from the TV show "Six Feet Under." In the scene the helium filled blowup dolls get loos from the net holding them down. A woman sees the dolls flying by and assumes the rapture is happening. She runs out into the street yelling, "Take me Jesus!" And then gets hit by a car and dies.
That one has to be my favorite death scene of the whole series. That show was sooo good...
Nono, use hydrogen and have ignitors on a timer or altitude switch.
What a fresh sprog! Beautiful as always
I look forward to your poems sprog!
May god raputure them right into the power lines.
Wrap them in tinfoil for maximum radar cross-section
You need to weigh the feet down, but I'm willing to help. Cheap shoes and duct tape should do the trick
Save the money and waste, just tape some coins to the bottoms of the feet. The bottom doesn’t have to be that much heavier.
You think coins are cheaper than stones?
“Shoes” is a really funny spelling of “Stones”
Edit: Got curious, and in my area there aren’t many rocks or stones, so you would have to buy them. They come in bulk between 2 and 3 inches in size at about a dollar a pound. For thirty pounds. Pennies take between 145 and 181 to make a pound depending on the materials of the penny. The pro to coins would be that you didn’t need to buy extra to maintain a precise weight per inflated sex doll, and they could be balanced easily on both feet for weight, where as with stones you would need to make sure you are well balanced for every doll and for every foot. Assuming you could instantly sort them all into evenly weighed piles you would still likely have stones left over, either as excess, or as outliers in our balancing that would be difficult for you to sell or get any other utility from.
In that case, yes, it’s cheaper to use coins because of the time sink and wastage that bulk stones would create, assuming an endless field of stones, the time spent sorting them into sizes and balancing them would cost more in labor than the pennies lost is worth.
I didn't consider the balancing part, but gravel parking lots negate your other points in my opinion. But, then again, my confusion of shoes and stones negates everything anyway.
What about water? Automatically flows to the lowest point, you can add the exact amount you need, and cheap.
Ahhh, the ole Six Feet Under cold opening.
Was gonna say!!!!
It my mom saw that she would lose her shit.
And go out in the middle of the night before and leave piles of clothes all over town
Omg, I'm dying at this image
