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bell hooks got it (slrpnk.net)
submitted 1 year ago by dylanmorgan@slrpnk.net to c/mensliberation@lemmy.ca
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“The first act of violence that patriarchy demands of males is not violence toward women. Instead patriarchy demands of all males that they engage in acts of psychic self-mutilation, that they kill off the emotional parts of themselves. If an individual is not successful in emotionally crippling himself, he can count on patriarchal men to enact rituals of power that will assault his self-esteem.”

That bell hooks quote was the one that made me realize that feminism wasn’t just about bringing women into equality with men, but about protecting everyone from the violence of patriarchy.

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[-] feedum_sneedson@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

My alcoholic mother slapped me when I was having a mental health crisis and told me to "become a man".

That might still be the most emotionally hurtful moment I've ever experienced, though there's some very strong competition.

Now, my father was an awful man too, but I honestly don't feel it was patriarchy that guided her hand.

Certainly had to do a lot of psychic self-mutilation, though.

[-] Phoenixbouncing@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

This.

Whilst traditional gender normes are hurting everyone ("be a man", "smile more") I really don't feel that "patriarchy" and it's evident undertone of finger pointing are the main cause.

I'd go even further and say that what people call "patriarchy" is really more of an emergent phenomenon coming from those underlying gender normes.

[-] ttpphd@mastodon.social 12 points 1 year ago

@dylanmorgan

The Will to Change made me feel more seen and understood than anything Warren Farrell ever wrote. It's a must read.

this post was submitted on 12 Aug 2023
79 points (94.4% liked)

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