My aunt had a turkey named Jason that was an absolute bastard who attacked anyone who came near the house. My hatred of him made it extra delicious when we ate him for Thanksgiving.

Inverted controls are just better.

It's a shame he never faced justice for his crimes.

BMW already tried to charge $18 a month for heated seats.

Yeah, I've had the opposite experience in my 20+ years of customer service work. Most of the times I've been screamed at by an entitled customer, they've been upper-middle class.

Greetings, I'm your opposite. I can handle bitter cold just fine, but I melt at 60F.

It's like they only ever tested it in SoCal on sunny days.

Writing like that is why the Onion is the greatest satire publication in the world.

I always heard it the other way around. That restoring Israel would bring about the End Times, but also that the End Times are a good thing because it means the Kongdom of God will finally be realized. I went to a pentecostal summer camp, though, so that might have something to do with it.

Mary Shelley said herself that there are two monsters in the book and both are named Frankenstein.

Who cares if his estate agreed to it? HE didn't. His estate shouldn't have the right to make money off of things he never actually did.

Let the dead stay dead, it's just an excuse to not pay new, living artists.

The joke is that Doom, specifically, will run on anything.