Great, give me an alternative then.
Afaik, except for steam only Itch even has a native Linux client for starters? EGS is a pos software that doesn't even have an "appear as offline" mode and bleeds money while still taking a 12% cut. And Epic is not a small indie company trying to break into the market.
Steam workshop, their VR integration, their work with Proton for Linux, Steam marketplace, the ease of generating keys for resellers without the 30% cut, great mobile app/interface, actually good storefront browsing, the list just goes on with things Steam does better than any competitor, and that's just a few examples of where the 30% cut is going (ofc they still make absolute bank on top of this).
But regulating this to something insane like 5% would definitely make us lose out on several of these features, not to speak about future features.
Dude, unless you've ever tried publishing your own game you should stop parroting stuff you hear online. I've released a (borderline shovelware) game I made for educational purposes, and steam is god damned amazing and has such good support for a novice like myself. On the complete opposite of what you're claiming, the gamers and indie companies stand to gain the most from a service like steam.
It's not surprising that it's more or less only people from huge companies like blizzard and Ubisoft who complain and try to gaslight Valve. If I were to release a game again I'd rather publish it on steam if they took 60% of the cut than anywhere else. (Unless you want to pay me a godly amount of money for exclusivity Epic Games, then hmu lol)
Worst part is that they actually started out kind of great, and killed all alternatives. Then they became progressively worse because of their predatory algorithms and whatnot, and now it's borderline impossible to get friends and family to switch to an alternative like mastodon or pixelfed...
Now this has me curious, what devices are those? Since transitioning to Linux I've installed it on a Mac, a surface pro 4, an old Lenovo laptop, an Asus laptop from 2014, my dedicated LAN desktop PC and my main desktop gaming PC, and none of those have had any issues.
I can highly recommend either using windows as a VM in virtualbox, or simply dual boot. I'm using Linux 99% of the time, but I still boot into windows occasionally for some firmware updates or software that does not work with Linux.
Pop!_OS is another great alternative!
I think you just fell for quite an obvious case of sarcasm.