Why is it that whenever something is spitting out junk data, those specific characters are involved?

Nothing says "small government" and "freedom" quite like mass surveillance.

Things happen by accident or on purpose. No one over the age of 3 should be using "on accident".

Checks out, what with the current state of the Christian-right in the US.

the ads are minimally intrusive — that is, highly relevant and engaging — they should not detract from the overall user experience

In what universe do ads, no matter how "relevant and engaging", ever not detract from the overall experience?

Are you immortal? Do you have an income vastly higher than the servicing cost of that debt? Do you owe the large a majority of that debt to yourself? Are you able to, if push came to shove, tell your external creditors to go fuck themselves and dare them to so much as try to collect on the debt you don't feel like paying? If you can't answer "yes" to all these questions, you aren't the US and have a debt situation that has absolutely nothing in common with the US debt.

Anti-vaxx jokes at a hospital fundraiser. That's one of the stupider moves I've seen today.

Russia can end this war tomorrow. Any and all deaths are on them. Hell, if Russia would just stay out of their neighbours business, there would have been no civil war in the first place.

If Russia would quit invading their neighbours, their neighbours wouldn't have had the motivation to join NATO in the first place (see Sweden and Finland as the most current examples).

Yes and no. The reason companies are hiring them is for the image of impartiality they bring. If your firm gets a reputation for just always siding with the company, regardless of what actually happened, that image gets destroyed.

Plus, I'm willing to bet that there's not a whole lot of recurring business from individual companies for this type of service. That would kind of defeat the purpose of being the "neutral third party".

They should all be worshipped privately

Pretty sure the bible specifically mentions that too.

It kind of blows my mind that forced arbitration is legal at all.

My tin-foil-hat theory is that the cruelty is the point, and their long term goal is to make being a Democrat president such a miserable experience that no one even remotely competent wants anything to do with the job.