[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I got my Sofle V2 in 2022 as a job change present for myself. I've since changed jobs again, but the Sofle V2 continues to be the keyboard I bring into office.

For a long time I was just bringing it into work in the box it came in, but during the job change period, I bought some fabric, an Apple TV (gen 2) travel case and replaced the moulded foam with a fabric base. Had to do a fair bit of sewing but the result has been pretty great.

It gets a lot of curious comments in the office, and I've gotten fairly proficient at Colemak DHm. I'm planning on upgrading the microcontrollers so I can enable tapdance soonish.

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submitted 8 months ago by Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/adhd@lemmy.world

Does anyone else feel a degree of imposter syndrome with work, like it's only matter of time until you can't work around your ADHD enough to avoid problems and everything falls apart?

I'm currently provisionally diagnosed with ADHD, pending further testing. I managed to get a degree and was working for a few years when someone recommended I get tested where I proceeded to finally pass this one test with flying colors...

My experience with work is that in the beginning, my attitude and enthusiasm to learn tends to give my bosses the impression that I have so much potential.

Then, cue the slow car crash that is me failing to meet that potential, then the cracks starting to show due to disorganisstion or task paralysis in my work, eventually putting me in a position where my competency is questioned and I'm falling behind on work because I'm struggling to meet (imo) great expectations that might seem realistic to neurotypical people, but is a struggle for me.

Then I jump ship to a new job, and the cycle restarts.

I thought I had a handle on my latest job. Stayed for just over a year. I thought this was it, I wasn't an imposter, I was finally fitting in. Then cracks, and everything fell apart and I'm now at risk of losing my job again. I tried my best, and I just feel disappointed in myself, like even I can't trust myself to do things right even at max effort.

This sucks.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 50 points 8 months ago

I think it's definitely really early to say if they have proper romantic interest in you, given you've only known each other about a week? But from your post, it seems like you two have points in common and have a lot to chat about, which is often a good foundation for relationships, friendly and romantic.

In terms of learning Linux, it's probably ideal to have a bit more of an outline of what you want to start teaching her because it's a huge jump into a new OS (not that I know much of myself). She may not know where to ask you to start and would appreciate more suggestions from you on where to begin, like telling her "Today, let me show you (practically) how to install (OS) on a system and navigate it" and going off that.

I think the tl;dr would be: Have a Linux lesson plan, expect friendship first. Take it slow.

Hope things go well.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 year ago

I majored in communications because I was so burnt down after secondary school that it was more a process of elimination - I couldn't do everything from A to Y, so that only left Z. But I would've liked to go into something to do with computers.

My father's a software developer too, and seeing my neurotypical younger brother following in his footsteps now is a bittersweet experience. He gets a lot more attention from our dad, and I feel like he's the white sheep of the family, where I'm the black sheep for not being able to do well in life

I don't know if I'll ever retrain to pursue that career, but I'm in my mid 20s and there's time if I'd like to. Right now I have a stable career, and I'm working towards life milestones one day at a time.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 27 points 1 year ago

Are you also a recipient of the "You have potential, you're just lazy" award?

Its sad to see that we all bear that weight of all these great expectations we just couldn't seem to meet, despite our best efforts.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago

My partner was also the one who suggested I get checked. I hope you'll be able to find the support and help you're seeking soon, because it really makes a difference.

All those flaws you've kicked yourself over for a lifetime suddenly become manageable and doable with medication, in my own experience. It's such a: "Wait, that's it? That's all it takes?" moment.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 1 year ago

My interests are like that other meme that got shared here recently, lol. I'm a jack of many, many trades, and I can't ever seem to complete projects I start, though I am trying more now.

For people like me, being stuck monetising a single interest strikes this deep sense of unease in me. I've been working a few years now, and I've decided to stick to something I'm not passionate about, but I can do the job to my abilities and put a lid on at the end of the day.

Anything else would probably consume my thoughts and leave me feeling mentally exhausted. It's like task paralysis, but worse.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 1 year ago

I agree. Society was not built upon accomodating the neurodivergent, and we've had to struggle a lot as a result. I've also thought about it a lot as well, so there's nothing wrong with that.

I spent a lot of time growing up wondering why I wasn't "normal", like everyone else. I grew up unable to socialise well with my peers and unable to keep up academically with the demands of my academic environment. I was always struggling to stay awake in class, or focus on a subject I desperately needed to learn. I had to drop out of the sciences because I was struggling horribly and my teacher treated me quite badly for my lack of ability to keep up.

I wonder now if I could've done better if my parents were aware of ADHD and had gotten me the help I very desperately needed, because my mother is still in denial to this day that I'm anything but normal, only lazy, selfish and inconsiderate. I was called a lot of horrible things because of things I couldn't control. I developed depression, but frequent therapy and counseling as of late has reduced how intense the mood swings are.

So, given a choice, I likely would've wished to be more normal in my own eyes.

When I went into university and met incredibly accepting and loving people, I really thrived. It's just sad that many like us have to struggle undiagnosed for such a long time, only to realise that with medication, managing our shortcomings would have been made so much more achievable.

I still spend a lot of my time unmedicated because I've come to accept and love myself, including the ADHD diagnosis that I got on my own last year. The diagnosis helped me find mechanisms that actually work for me, and I'm better off for that.

I am no less of a person in my own eyes, but the judgement of a society is a lot of weight to bear.

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I take Ritalin 10mg on a needs basis since I generally have functioned 'alright' into adulthood.

Just took one to get some work done today and it still amazes me how normal I feel about doing work once I'm medicated. Like there's no massive hurdle to even starting. No massive reluctance and task paralysis to fight.

Coming from a whole week where I've been procrastinating on whatever isn't urgent, suddenly it's so easy to just... do.

I also get incredibly chatty (hence the post, lol), but yeah. I can't imagine how life changing it must be for people who struggle even worse with executive dysfunction.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 10 points 1 year ago

I have ADHD, so music helps me maintain focus when I'm (usually) unmedicated. That being said, I do have a very strong media dependency, so I get where you're coming from.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 12 points 1 year ago

I click on titles I find interesting, but I'm personally not a scroller. But I have friends that do go down that rabbit hole for large chunks of time at a time.

Short form content can be scarily addicting.

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 7 points 1 year ago

I'll split it into games your daughter could play, and some that could be fun to watch and get her to interact with. This is coming from someone who was playing Pinball 3D in preschool, so your mileage when bringing up a gaming child may vary.

One thing I haven't seen here is casual games. The less deep stuff that can still provide a lot of entertainment for kids that may just be starting to get a hang of things like computer mice and keyboard controls.

Alice Greenfingers (1 and 2) is a casual farm game featuring the titular character starting her own farm and selling the produce. No keyboard controls, just mouse controls and it was a pretty great introduction for me as a kid to finer motor movements.

The Diner Dash series is also a pretty good one to start. They have some variations, I know there's a detective game under the franchise that you could get input from your daughter on as you go through to encourage interaction.

There's the FATE (the WildTangent one, not the anime one) games, where it was one of the first games I remember that let me create my own female character. It's a diablo ripoff with much simpler mechanics. Gameplay can be repetitive but it's still a very fun, mouse-heavy game I still go back to. You can also choose between a cat and dog pet, and feed them special fish you find to turn them into awesome creatures like flaming unicorns!! (I'm sorry, I really love this game) i it's certainly playable with not much reading skill and therefore should be okay for a child, even if there's your standard combat violence.

For games that are fun to watch, I remember playing a Hello Kitty game for the PS2. There's still elements like hitting things, but it's overall a much cuter aesthetic.

There's also a PS2 Avatar: The Last Airbender video game that's based on the show (highly recommended watch even for kids), so you could relive the show you've just watched by playing the game with them. It's 2 player.

Crash Bandicoot Warped - while you play often as Crash, in the latest game I think it's possible to play everything as his sister Coco, who was already the only choice for some stages in the original game. Violence is mild, and was also one of my early games growing up. Fun to watch and play for kids.

I think there's a game called Infinity Nikki (PS4, PS5, PC, Android) that's a dress up platformer game. New outfits unlock different skills. The only issue is I've never played it, and it seems like microtransactions may inevitably come into play. Take caution. It's a crazy pretty game, though...

The Marvelous Miss Take (PC, and some consoles iirc) is a stealth game about a young woman trying to pull off several art heists. It features a female main character and is generally quite fun.

Hope this helps :)

I wish you guys all the fun!

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 1 year ago

If you're not always on medication, like me, I try to actively do a few things:

  1. Set things up for yourself. Think of future you like a separate person you're trying to help out.

I generally have problems with going to bed on time (it's still 2:30am, but I'm working on it...), and I realised that I could go to bed more immediately if I brushed my teeth when I took my shower so I wouldn't get into task paralysis doomscrolling on my bed and either staying up way too late or falling asleep with bad oral hygiene.

Other things is like putting out the laundry basket in the middle of your path the night before so it's easier to grab it and bring it over to the washing machine the next morning. I use Google assistant to set a timer now so I'm more likely to remember to hang the clothes out to dry. It's not perfect, but I've at least had to rewash my clothes less due to me forgetting.

  1. Setting a timer and time limit to do a thing.

There's still that agony of "oh god I have to do a thing", but on days you really need to get small (but seemingly insurmountable) tasks done, I make a list of all the tasks I need to do, write a number next to the task in the order I have to do it, and then note down roughly how long it takes to do something.

Then, I set the timer, and set it to count down. It provides just a little additional push to start doing things, even if it's an absolute slog.

P.S. could you tell me more about how your task paralysis and workaholism would impact you? That seems quite interesting

[-] Leilys@lemmy.dbzer0.com 26 points 1 year ago

My partner was also the one who suggested that might have ADHD. It sort of made sense to at least try since I'd been struggling with being "normal" since I was about 8, so I gave it a shot.

So I got diagnosed last year as an adult. Getting diagnosed doesn't immediately change anything (well, no shit), but it can help you be better informed when developing systems to make your life more functional.

For example, having things you need to do a task close by on hand. By having a small trash can on my desk, compared to just a bigger bin on the other side of my room, I no longer pile up trash on my desk forever before throwing it away once I run out of room.

In regards to medication, if you've managed to make it this far and hold down a job like me, you're likely to be prescribed some short acting medication to start for days you really need to get things done.

I have inattentive type ADHD and I take Ritalin 10mg only on days I need to either get a lot of work done, or when I have long meetings to attend because I struggle to stay awake when I'm unengaged.

Before this was all suggested to me, I honestly thought I was narcoleptic because I was always such a sleepy person when I'm bored. It took having a mutual friend get diagnosed for my partner to realise similarities, and then me getting diagnosed to realise that the friends I attract tend to be "different" themselves.

My parents continue to refuse to acknowledge that I'm anything but neurotypical, which had made my younger years a lot harder than I wished it could've been.

The diagnosis just helped me be more aware about the specific challenges I have to face, like task paralysis, or the compulsive filling in I do when a friend pauses too long in the middle of a sentence, or how I struggle to remember things when I get distracted. The ADHD was always a part of you, but now you can find life hack tips that actually work!

Best wishes, from a fellow late-diagnosed person :)

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Leilys

joined 1 year ago