Yo mama so ugly she gotta cosplay as a couch to get any.

My switch is stuck in the middle position... Performing neither action.

Some of us care, we're just not rich enough to buy a politician.

This is where I am at.. Looks like around $20k to move elsewhere in the world, and I've got $0 atm.

Was working the counter at a repair shop. This really old guy had come in for a data backup and a wipe/restore. We performed said service, and reloaded the data from the backup back on, and his outlook data was encrypted with a password he couldn't remember.

This infuriated him, he specifically asked me if I wanted HIM to "Shove the desktop tower up his ass, stick his head in after it, and give it a sniff."

People are wild.

Go full RGB, acquire "Gamer Balls".

This is the new SQL-Injection trend. Test Every text field!

Uhg, this is tough to hear. Was considering migrating to New Zealand.

I'm not your checkpal, checkguy.

He's too busy working on the next skyrim release anyway.

Impossible! I've got 20 other things to do before I can get to that, and none of them are getting done!

I'm not a doctor, but overconsumption of water is a big indicator of diabetes :(

Thats what got me in and flagged as diabetic, I was pissing like twice an hour.