You can get any graduate degree, masters or Ph.D. in whatever you want. What do you choose?

From the video starting at 41:05:

We're all clear on the problem.

What's the solution?

Rory got a quote for us that we're gonna use. This is a book called The Will To Change by bell hooks. She's one of the leading feminists. That—it writes about patriarchy. And this is a quote right here by her. It says:

By learning the arts of compartmentalization, dissimulation, and disassociation, men are able to see themselves as acting with integrity in cases where they are not. Their learned state of psychological denial is severe...Since most men have been socialized to believe that compartmentalization is a positive practice, it feels right, it feels comfortable. To practice integrity, then, is difficult; it hurts. Peck makes the crucial point: “Integrity is painful. But without it there can be no wholeness.” To be whole men must practice integrity.

One thing I think missing from this instance is a discussion about solutions to toxic masculinity and how incredibly difficult it can be to live them. It's easy to say men need to be more emotionally available, less violent, value themselves for who they are rather than what they do and how they perform. And while this video doesn't really demonstrate men doing that, they discuss their lived experiences and explore that difficulty. One of the guys towards the end even asks, "I hear what you're saying. But, when I go home, how do you honestly expect me to teach this to my young son?"...or something to that effect.

I thought the documentary was interesting for really emphasizing that being a better man isn't easy and that it may be even harder to sustain it.

This article is about Alabama's unconstitutional maps and how it dilutes African American votes by packing the black vote into one district. So the article considers...well...is that really so bad?

The argument is that if there's one big ol' district of black voters, then (it's assumed) Alabama politicians will need to appeal black interests. Whereas if there are multiple districts where black people merely have a majority, say 51%, then an Alabama politician can engage in tactics that reduce African American votes to less than 50%. After all, what is the problem with a one voting booth for a whole district if everyone theoretically gets the opportunity to vote? And so, Alabama politicians can ignore African American interests.

The argument actually makes sense, and if you don't care about the political process, is a good argument. It just assumes...ya know...that the process should constrain the effects of racism in the political process rather than, say, asshole racists not being racist and living up to the principles of American democracy.

Check it: colons are incredibly useful for introducing new ideas or adding emphasis. And the way people talk on the internet could use significantly more clarity: you can ramble and ramble, and just talk about whatever, expand on your point, really beat that dead horse, and then take a short break. But using colons allows you to introduce an important new idea: they provide a clear separation between different thoughts.

Oh yeah, about the colon as intestinal organ: idk...stay away from Taco Bell unless you have some extra time

Everything below is my perspective on the issue. If you feel I misrepresented something, then let’s discuss. I’m open to learning more.

Introduction

The concept of masculinity has become a subject of intense scrutiny and debate recently. From economic and political factors to environmental and cultural shifts, the crisis of masculinity is a complex issue that cannot be understood in isolation or the abstract. To better grasp the challenges faced by men in today’s society, it is crucial to examine the multifaceted contexts in which this crisis unfolds.

Taking a pragmatic approach, let’s look at a few of the diverse dimensions that contribute to the crisis of masculinity. Taking stock of the economic, political, environmental, and cultural aspects provides a grounded understanding of the challenges faced by men in navigating their identities and roles in the modern world.

The economic context plays a significant role in shaping the crisis of masculinity. In fact, the primary factors of educational achievement and economic circumstances are often used as metrics to frame the crisis. Because men are generally more active in the labor force than women, decades of stagnant wages and increasing income inequality have disproportionately affected them, leading to feelings of insecurity and a loss of traditional roles.

In the political realm, the crisis of masculinity intertwines with the dynamics of the election process. As candidates vie for votes and special interests vie for attention, political polarization intensifies, even within political parties. Traditional understandings of manliness become complicated in an age where women are ascendant. For example, politicians can exploit a form of masculinity that feels endangered by others’, even though the policies they endorse harm the men who harbor such beliefs.

Environmental issues also contribute to the crisis of masculinity. Climate change, depletion of natural resources, and pollution pose significant challenges to the well-being of individuals and communities. Understandings of masculinity predicated on a particular way of relating to the environment can exacerbate environmental problems.

Furthermore, cultural shifts and the rise of feminism have challenged traditional notions of masculinity. Feminism is derided for critiques about the dominating and violent aspects of traditional manliness, which challenges the underlying sentiment of ‘boys will be boys’. Instead, it explores new expectations for boys and men, such as emotional availability and vulnerability, traits which traditionally belonged to women. Traditional masculinity finds adaptation of those expectations challenging and difficult. And the modern role of women in the economy and in politics disputes a masculinity with biologically derived gender roles, suggesting that they are otherwise.

As we proceed, we’ll return to these different aspects in terms of masculinity. The primary question we’ll be answering is, “What does a certain understanding of masculinity allow men to do?” This is what it means to take a pragmatic approach.

Traditional Masculinity

The traditional understanding of manliness is a performative role with associated qualities, a bundle of behaviors and values called “traditional masculinity”. The people who believe in that bundle, traditional masculinists.

For them, a man embodies protectiveness, bravery, and strength. He submits only to his duties that he bears without complaint and alone. Manliness is inherent in our biology, an unrefined steel to be refined and smelted by upbringing and overcoming difficulty on our own terms. Being a man is repeatedly demonstrated through unwavering determination in the face of difficulty, self-sufficiency in everyday life, and a resolute commitment to fulfilling responsibilities with purpose. Establishing and nurturing a family, the role of revered father, often stands as a paramount manifestation of that purpose.

For traditional masculinists, the crisis of masculinity is that it’s not being taught. They readily acknowledge current days are tough for boys and men. By biological definition, all men have within them the capacity to improve their own lives and that of their families. Encouraging men to be men, to harness our innate capacity for innovation, creation, and production, is the solution. Masculinity, then, is an individually wielded tool that, when aggregated, sustains the strength of the family, community, and ultimately, the nation.

As previously mentioned, traditional masculinity is complicated in the modern era.

Factory jobs once sustained a family of four, and they didn’t require a college degree. Today, the return on a college degree is so low that the value of higher education is increasingly questioned altogether because it’s often accompanied by an overwhelming amount of debt. The degree may deliver a higher quality of life, but it’s bought in years of opportunity costs, foregone opportunities. Young men also wonder about the purpose of the economic rat race. Why should they engage at all when the odds of success, however defined, are low and every day is just more of the same?

For the traditional masculinist, none of this really matters. All we’re doing is taking stock of the depressing consequences of failing to instruct young men. Economic challenges have always existed and always will. What matters is that boys and men use their ingenuity to overcome those challenges. That is what it means to be a man.

Thus, politicians perceived to be manly allow other men to play the role. Trump’s political appeal is his tenacity to fight for Americans. He was a fighter. And he was extremely effective. He demonstrates what it means to be a man in politics. Trump’s rhetoric about defending America from immigrant invasions, the media’s disrespect despite his numerous accomplishments, and his casual speeches distinct from typical political rhetoric all bolstered his image as an independent man who has faced challenges and continues to do so. Even now, he characterizes his ongoing legal trouble for personal conduct during his administration in terms of fighting for the American people. He is the protector of the nation. And men who support him are doing their duty, or so they can believe.

The intersection of environmental issues and masculinity most clearly demonstrates the latter’s heedless self-destructiveness. Smokestack industries are associated with manliness. Men can find expression in gas guzzling, turbo charged cars even as the resulting greenhouse gases destroy the environment in which their expression exists. Supporting energy independence based on fossil fuel extraction reinforces the role of provider and protector, as oil is at the heart of the American economy and of national security.

Men looking for a mentor can also look at Trump and similar politicians as role models. Being a man in the modern age means trying to do what you think is best and experiencing intense criticism on every front. The real man forges ahead nonetheless, as Trump does. The constant headwind makes the man.

However, the purpose of enduring a constant social headwind is less articulated by traditional masculinists. Many of them have already found their purpose, but they seem to have very little to offer other young men. Andrew Tate offers hedonism, while Russ Roberts offers the traditional contemplative life of the philosopher. Jordan Peterson offers lobsters. In any case, the purpose to which masculinity is put is of paramount importance to the individual man but of lesser importance to the community and nation. Thus, expressions of masculinity in a social context come across as upholding a conception of masculinity rather than the animating purpose. That is, it’s enough to say, “I’m doing this because I’m a man” or “That’s what men do” rather than “Doing this is important to me because...” and expressing one’s values. In such a way, manliness is a lived expression of values.

The cultural effect of upholding masculinity per se is the association between it and its consequences. This is the criticism of feminists who demonize toxic masculinity for its adverse effects. Traditional masculinity, they argue, with its focus on shouldering burdens without complaint and in solitude forces men to internalize dangerous ideas that are harmful to others around them and even themselves. What happens when a man can’t embody the ideal? They kill themselves.

The feminist criticism of masculinity also challenges the notion that manliness is biologically derived. There is nothing inherent in men that makes them manly in the traditionally masculine sense. Rather, it is a social performance based on an ideology. As such, what it means to be manly can change.

Again, though, suicide statistics of men merely show what is already obvious: masculinity isn’t being taught and practiced. The feminist is also charged with emasculating men with criticism. Where feminism dismisses the role of the traditional man as toxic, they undermine the lessons of masculinity. Furthermore, feminist condemnation is an attack on the biological reality of maleness. Manliness cannot be altered for the man anymore than he can change the chromosomes with which he was born. So, again, the real and only solution is teaching self-sufficiency and resourcefulness, teaching young boys to face the challenges ahead of them with courage and conviction rather than taking it away from them before they’ve begun to understand themselves.

Alternative Masculinity

Many men, including myself, see through the ambitious rhetoric of traditional masculinity to the harmful reality it engenders. Manly men often fail to live up to basic human standards of decency. How does the protector of the family abuse the mother of his children, physically harming her, even killing her in a fit of rage, and mentally traumatizing his children? Why is it that 1 out of 5 women in the U.S. has been raped during her lifetime? Why did men kill themselves 3.9x’s more than women in 2021? Why don’t they ask for help when they’re in distress?

Popular men’s forums and those who believe in a crisis of traditional masculinity decry feminists and others for ignoring issues that plague men. But the evidence is that men ignore both their own issues and feminists who have written about men’s issues. Tradition explicitly encourages a man to go it alone, to shoulder his burdens without complaint. Contrary to the beliefs of the traditionalists, masculinity is arguably being taught and lived. The result? An epidemic of suicide, homicide, and despair. This dynamic, patriarchal relations to the self and others, is the crisis of masculinity for feminists like bell hooks.

An alternative is in high demand.

Emotional intelligence and communication are paramount to the new paradigm. It encourages and empowers boys and men to understand their emotions and to express them with words rather than violence. The traditional relationship to one’s felt emotions, that of self-domination for survival and strength, is upended. Men can share their burdens with others, lightening the psychological load.

Veterans are often considered the manliest men, transmuting the will to protect into death and destruction. Unfortunately, 17 of them commit suicide per day as of 2020. Offering them an alternative to tradition is the focus of organizations that take their problems seriously and hope to prevent tragedy. This alternative paradigm is behind organizations like the Wounded Warrior Project’s mental health services. Such organizations understand intimately that shouldering the burdens of war alone can be overwhelming. They care to help their brothers- and sisters-in-arms through the melancholy.

Off the battlefield, many civilians are under siege in other ways. Over one in ten people are in poverty nationally, which is associated with depression and anxiety. Institutionally, the Federal Reserve controls inflation by causing unemployment, for which it is has been criticized recently. Unfortunately, unemployment is also associated with impaired mental health. Additionally, you may be a member of the 1 in 9 Americans who believe their workplace is toxic and can’t leave, which also contributes to impaired mental health. If that’s not enough, then note that the U.S. Surgeon General recently released a report on “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation”.

In other words, many of us are experiencing a set of emotions and feelings that demand recognition from others. We want to be cared for and cared about. Emotional intelligence offers tools to help understand what we’re feeling, while communication helps us ask for what we need from others. In doing so, an alternative masculinity can undo the damage that tradition has caused by building relationships based on full acknowledgement of one’s self and mutual respect for the emotional lives of others.

An alternative to traditional masculinity is expressive and self-aware. Modern challenges are faced with others sharing our burden. It does not directly address the economic, political, cultural, and environmental problems. GDP will not necessarily increase because men talk about their feelings. The power of alternative masculinity is communication, which facilitates personal relationships, of which many constitute a community. At the very least, members of such a community will be more emotionally robust than anything tradition has to offer. At best, resolution of modern problems will be far more likely.

I'm doing some research for a post I'd like to make in this community about the crisis of masculinity and I had a question pop into my brain: Why don't manly men explain the reason for being a man?

Let me explain.

A manly man may, when asked why they're a man, respond "Look at me", as if phenotypic expression makes them a man, even as they may disparage a trans-man who has similar physical characteristics. Or they may say, "Because I'm the breadwinner" or some other variation that references the role they play in society as a man.

But like...why do that in the first place?

I'm a biological male but I honestly could not provide a purpose for being a man even though that is how I gender myself. I don't appeal to my role as a man in anything I do nor do I see it as a justification for acting in any way. I don't aspire to "be a man", it's not a motivating force.

So, I'm curious as to why it does for others. Help me out, y'all! Why "be man" in the first place?