Heavily doubling down on everything you say here!
I am big, too, and that DOES NOT MEAN I AM NOT GENTLE!
Those who know me close, of course, know me as a cuddly and kind and gentle person; girlfriend knows more about it, including sexual stuff, and loves me for that, to which I am very grateful.
Interesting you mentioned your wife drove to see you - I just recently came back from seeing my girl, around 700 miles away, and finally, October to November, she will be able to move in with me. You just added some bright hopes :)
Only monogamous relationship for me, yeah.
I did try other options, friends with benefits and stuff, but nothing actually compares to me, not even close, with the partner who intimately knows me, cares about me on all levels, and knows of all the things that turn me on.
Besides, sex in relationships is a continuation of a deeper feeling, a way to express love and a special kind of gentleness. Yeah, I'd say sex is very romantic to me.
But nothing bad with other options if you're into it! Monogamous folks are often portrayed as boring puritans who tell people what to do, so I'll stress that - you do you, but my drive works this way. And boy can monogamous sex get kinky...