Lol. I can cook my ass off.

Anyways. /Salute.

Also I'll tell you what. You adopt me. Move me to the UK.:) I'll help you all day long with your phone troubles. 😂 Get me outta this u s of a place.

Nokia and Motorola make good phones. The software isnt great compared to say Samsung. The charge on the Motorola phone we have lasts for 3 days it's very impressive. That's a decent smart phone which sounds like you don't really want or need.

That being said it sounds like a flip phone would be your best option? A Nokia 2780 would work. :) Cheap too. At $30