Cool. Am at the pub with fam but will check in

My mum loved Christmas. And any celebration really. Half my tea towels and things are old Christmas themed ones from the surplus she would buy. And every year EVERYONE got a present - kids, grandkids, in laws. We were not rich and I dunno how she did it but she did. I'm talking a big extended family here. And when we were little we had presents on Christmas Eve (after mass 😇) and a big party. Then she would back it up with lunch for everyone Christmas day.

That all changed a bit when she got old and sick and we could share the load, but the presents continued. When she got too old to shop she would research and buy things online through the year.

She died a few years ago now in November and there were so many pre-bought presents ready in the cupboard that we were able to package them all up and give everyone something from mum/grandma that year as a surprise.

So if you are sad or your family was crap, this is your permission to go buy (or cook or do) yourself something nice, from my mum. She would love it. ♥️✨

I. Am. Done.

With work for the year. Out of office on, notifications off. Yeeeahhh. Now to clean up and get packed for a wee getaway.

I am thinking of deleting all social apps for a few weeks. I suspect I will keep jerboa but going to try to have less screen time for a bit. If I don't catch has then have a good one 🍻🍻🍻

This is it. One more day between me and holiday (except for whatever little bits I will inevitably need to finish off in the morning.

Yyyeeeeaaaah...

Thank you everyone for the kindness. I have a big tray of roast veg in the oven so dinner/lunch is sorted and yummy at least. Will be having an early night and hopefully a sleep

An offering of this best boy I met on the street one day

Oh seagooon

We wish you would come back soon

But hope you are enjoying your vacation

Enforced by internet enshittification.

But come back soon....dear 'goon.

Little peace accords between species this morning. Someone hangs out a seed mix that's the neighbourhood buffet breakfast

I put on my grown up pants today and called to book in for a new mental health plan and reached out to a psych for an appointment. She specialises in depression and trauma but can also do adult adhd assessments so I'm hoping she can help me unpick some things. I'm not in crisis (which I have been every other time I've sought help) so I'm feeling partly good about this and partly feeling like I am wasting everyone's time and they will think I'm bunging it on .... and that folks is why I need help unpicking some stuff !

But geez louise there's proper money required even with the rebates. faark this system - It shouldn't be a privilege to be able to seek help.

Thanks everyone for the support yesterday. Despite feeling it was impossible I called in sick today and have spent the day sleeping (proper sleep not depression hiding I think) and on the couch listening to gentle music and journalling. Cleaned the kitchen. Haven't eaten much but it's good food. Drinking lots of water. About to go wash my hair.

My brain is exponentially calmer now. I wouldn't say I am looking forward to work tomorrow but it's not making me cry. I needed to just....stop.

Hopefully this is the circuit breaker I needed 🤞

Tomorrow - early start, good food at regular times, decent bedtime.

I can't concentrate today. A close friend was in a bike vs car (cars fault) yesterday. They are still in hospital but ok -multiple fractures and chest trauma but could have been much worse. I spent yesterday babysitting and helping out and I thought I was ok but I keep getting the shakes today. I feel silly. I need to concentrate but I keep thinking about it.

Hug your peeps my peeps.