My mother was mostly a stranger growing up. I don't know exactly how the arrangement came about, but I was my father's child. She kept her distance and took to my sibling instead. She worked weekends when I was younger so I saw her comparatively little, and by the time I was a teenager my father's abuse had long since driven her into drink and depression. I had little idea what she liked, what her hobbies were or what her life was like before me.

I left in my late teens but moved back in with her in my early 20's. They had divorced just before I left, and she hadn't been coping with it very well. I hadn't coped well with life either. Those were some hard years at first. Both traumatized and stranded. I've gotten to know her very well since then. Frankly, too much. She's no saint, but she's well intentioned and I've come to love her even if I didn't as a child.

My father I always knew. He's not exactly hard to understand, just another emotionally stunted and cowardly little man. We were only ever a tool for him - to win approval from his parents, and to provide one small space where he could inflict his control. I know every little thing he likes because those were the only things that were allowed to matter. He tried desperately to make me become like him. I am very glad I am not.

I've been looking for rentals lately. Every inspection has dozens upon dozens of people show up. Rental vacancies are at a tiny fraction of a percent. No landlord will take someone if the rent will cost more than 30% of their income. To qualify for a studio apartment it takes almost double the median wage.

I hate it so much. I've budgeted so that I know I can afford these places on my income, I have a significant pile of savings and a stable job. I have been looking for a place for six months and been rejected from them all.

I've given up. Even if I could get a place it'd be cheaper to pay a fucking mortgage.

I've been very candid about most aspect of my life at different times on the internet. Health, sex, poverty, abuse, you name it. Some of it while extremely mentally unwell.

But would would actually be the worst is if anyone found the fan fiction I wrote when I was like 13.

Pirates of the Caribbean (2003) is my favourite pirate game. No, it's nothing like what you think a licensed tie in game from 2003 would be like.

It's a real oddity. This was made by a Russian studio and originally meant to be a sequel to their previous age of sail game, Sea Dogs. In Russia it was still marketed as a sequel, without the Pirates of the Carribean branding. It has basically nothing to do with the movies in reality. I have no idea how or why this ended up being a tie in.

I don't really have a short hand for describing the genre. It most reminds me of space sims - where you control a vessel which you can replace, has an economy/trade system, management mechanics, factional reputation systems and an open world. It's not a simplified as Freelancer, but not a spreadsheet game like the X series.

The sailing is great, a happy medium between completely arcade stuff where you just point your ship where you want to go and sims. Wind and weather play an important role without being tedious or overwhelming.

You also control a character for ship environments, like boarding, and exploring towns and islands (with swashbuckling combat, of course). It's pretty bare bones but the variety is appreciated. There are lite-RPG dialogue/story mechanics and quests, though I do not want to give the impression this narrative heavy game. It's an RPG style that used to be relatively common but not so much anymore.

But the real highlight is the New Horizons mod which greatly overhauls the game. It's been developed for almost 20 years. I don't recommend playing the vanilla game - I enjoyed it at the time, but it's just an inferior experience to the mod.

Best yet, it's free. The game is abandonware.

I've pretty consistently chosen less hours and better working conditions over pay since I started to have that choice. It's made it a lot more tolerable. I'm currently on a four day week, with a minimal commute, good perks and a relatively stress free job that I took a pay cut for. My retirement savings look pretty slim, but due to my health the chance of a long one isn't much higher anyway.

Not without it's issues. Pay is pretty significantly below the median. Fortunately I'm not interested in having kids and I'm content living cheaply, even if it sounds boring. But I'm in a weird dead zone for government support; for instance - if I earned more, there are programs for "middle income" housing and the like that I earn too little to qualify for. Low income housing programs are a joke - with wait times being as much as a decade -but even if it wasn't I'm not high priority anyway. Also no way on earth I'm ever getting a home loan, even though mortgage repayments would be less than rent and I could conceivably make the deposit.

I went to the doctor because I was having panic attacks. I already knew I had an anxiety disorder, I have since I was a kid, so I assumed I was only going to resume treatment. The doctor just started me back on some meds like usual, but sent me off for some blood tests out of routine.

I don't want to get specific but, as it turns out, there was a lot more going on. I'd been feeling sick for a long time. It seems ridiculous looking back just how sick I let myself become but never even considered seeing a doctor about it. I had a thousand excuses for why it might be happening but not a big deal, and a thousand more lying to myself that it was normal and I wasn't sick at all.

I spent the next two years with medical appointments at least twice a week and referred to various specialists. My inner elbow looks like a junkie's from all the tests. I am still not close to where I used to be, but I'm feeling a lot better these days.

I use one of the extra arms to hit the enter key at work. This brings me much joy.

Seriously, one of my biggest frustrations is the tiny inefficiency caused by needing to use a mouse and keyboard at the same time. I can navigate most of it with just the left hand side of the keyboard except for hitting enter at the end of forms. Moving my hand off my mouse or from the left hand side of the keyboard to the right in this rapid, heavily repeated process is uncomfortable.

Now I've written all that I've realised I should just bind it to something on the left hand side of the keyboard or the mouse though. Oh well, I'll put it on the to do for Monday lmao

Also being able to type with both hands, hold the old school corded phones we still have, and use the mouse or write with a pen at the same time would rule.

Quokka > Wallaby > Kangaroo

I need to occupy my mind with something that isn't related to real life. Not just avoiding topics that are stressful or otherwise emotionally loaded, just thinking about anything I'm going to do or things in my life will stop me sleeping. So I think of stories and fiction worlds until the day dreams become actual dreams.

Since I got into the habit my sleep has gotten far more regular and I have had more control over went it happens.

What? That's just a normal way of communicating anything via text in a professional setting. Neutral language, brief, with a generic but appreciative sign off.

usually either trying to skip proper channels for a request, or correcting someone while having no idea what they’re talking about.

I associate this with messages that are informal and overly friendly.

I'm not sure how old I am, maybe three or four. It's the only memory I have from the first place my parents lived in. I'm outside the garage and I've got a hammer.

My mother is smashing computer components and I'm "helping". I remember being so fascinated with what they were and how they worked. I was particularly enthralled by what I now recognize were the internals of a hard drive. The platter is just so shiny! This memory sparks a long term interest in computers.

Later I'd learn my father had been caught consuming particularly violent BDSM pornography.

Blowback - Deep dives into American imperialism. Each season covers a single topic and goes into the background history, through to the conflict, to the aftermath in about 10 hour long episodes each. The first season was on the Iraq War, the second on Cuba, the third on the Korean War and the fourth into Operation Cyclone in Afghanistan. Extremely well produced with some great soundtracks.

Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fb0r5aWGkCI