Or remodel your face

Dude, this wasn't a comprehensive analysis of the conflict in the middle east.

Hamas attacks Israel from Gaza, so Israel invades Lebanon, so Iran attacks Israel, so USA bombs Jemen.

Welcome to the Middle East.

Setting up Alpine or Mutt with multiple SMTP accounts is an exercise in frustration.

I invited 20 people for my 40th birthday.
3 showed up.
My wife ate too much dough while she baked weed brownies and fell asleep right before the guests arrived.

So me and my best friends sat around the table and ate a bag of chips, I was the only one to drink alcohol, no one touched the huge amount of food I made, and from upstairs we could hear my wife snoring.

call your company X Corp
insist you're not evil

What - and I cannot stress this enough - the fuck?

Generally, if this method doesn't lead you to another human within a day, you're already in really deep shit.

So by that point it's walk or die. The hunger will subside after a day and your reptile brain will release loads of dopamine and adrenaline to keep you going.

You won't find anything in the woods that's quick to acquire without tools, nourishing, and easy to identify as safe to eat. Except maybe berries (if you know them).

If you're lost in the woods with nothing, you don't start to look for food.
You can live without food for 3 weeks, and if you happen to eat something wrong, you can get violently ill or poisoned.

Here's what you do:
First you try to call for help, or wait for help, if you know someone is looking for you.
If not, you start to walk downhill (even if it's just a barely noticeable slope).
At some point you'll find water (a creek, river, whatever), or at least a dry river bed.
Then you follow that downstream until you're literally out of the woods.

That way you aren't in danger of walking in circles, and rivers generally lead you to settlements.
There's hardly any spot on earth left where you won't reach the nearest settlement within a week (i.e. before you die from hunger) that way.

1. How is gender and race at all relevant for this joke?
2. How is that picture appropriate for a professional networking site?
3. Also, what did the dude google to find that picture?