Cliche as it sounds, my ex. It took so many years and therapy to understand that i was dating person who was very manipulative and perhaps had some kind of personality disorder or something else. My ex sometimes penetraded me while i was sleeping by fingers or penis. Pressuring to anal sex even if i didnt want it, otherwise they would gaslight me or giving me silent treatments if i wasnt agreeing, pressuring to make videos to pornhub because we had money issues while i was grieving my friend's death, sometimes "forgotting" protection and other things. Relationship ended because they were cheating me with a friend. I wasnt always good person to her cause i started to have anger issues, social anxiety, depression and suicidal thoughts and i am pretty sure that these issues begin with those actions. They tried gaslight me that i caused the cheating, but i am so fucking glad that i trusted myself and end that relationship. It will take loooooong time to heal from the trauma that they caused and trust issues, but i am slowly getting better. If anyone has going throught same, please just please leave and love yourself, it will get better.♥️