For 2023 I made a resolution, for the first time since the 90s. The resolution was to have $5000 in the bank.

I pushed hard, got up to about $3500, then my housing situation changed and I had to pay higher rent. The savings rate become quite low assuming perfect discipline. I don’t have perfect discipline so my savings rate was just a couple hundred a month.

After the moving expenses I’m back down then slowly up to about $2k in the bank.

Overall, I failed to reach the $5k, but it did change my relationship with money in a major way. Until this year, until I decided to make savings my top priority, I was always living paycheck to paycheck. I’m 41. This has been my entire adult life: worrying about whether I’ll make the next round of bills. Often asking for extensions on my rent. Paying lots of late fees.

This year is the first time I’ve lived with any kind of financial surplus. When my rent is due I don’t even check my balance I just pay it. All the other bills are on auto. It’s such an amazing feeling.

So that was last year. This coming year my goal is to be present for people. I’ve lost too many friendships from neglect on my part. And Ive passed up too many opportunities to connect, because I wanted to maintain my freedom.

My whole life Ive separated myself, doing everything I can to cut ties and maintain flexibility. My resolution this year is to stay present for the people in my life, to commit to and fulfill some social obligations. To stop worrying so much about how I feel and focus more on what I can do for people.