Main point in enjoying soulslikes is the approach. Modern action RPGs are very fast paced, very direct in their approach "hit A - enemy dies - get dopamine".

To make it work, slow down. Treat every enemy as a real threat, not filler between bosses. Pretending they are all real players and not bots might help. Keep your distance, bait out several attacks, see how they behave, carefully close in and make your move. Don't get greedy on the offence and only attack when the enemy opens and then break the distance again.

Also as others mentioned, game makes you commit to any actions you take. When you attack the enemy, take responsibility of every button press. If you start mashing, the game punishes you fast and hard.

I don't have the best reaction speeds, but I was able to steamroll most of the bosses under 10 tries, so the game is definitely not the "die until you memorize the moveset" type. If you play patiently and carefully build up your character it is definitely possible to tackle most threats on first sight.

Edit: Also, if you're on PC I don't mind giving you a hand sometime and playing together a little