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What's a bit of good advice that's really bad advice?
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 31 Mar 2024
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"Just be yourself"
Ask any neurodivergent person how that goes.
We mask because we are often punished for being ourselves most of the time.
Can relate, when I start infodumping or talking in depth about stuff I enjoy I can see their eyes glaze over and they want to leave.
i mean, if its any comfort, my eyes glaze over and I want to leave anytime anyone even starts to talk to me, cause I cant stand social interaction, much less having to look at peoples faces to show i'm "engaged"
Why would this give anyone comfort?
It may give comfort to someone feeling socially rejected because, knowing that's something that happens, they may now re-evaluate their previous experience as not having been rejected for having themselves especifically, but because the person they were talking to was dying inside out of their own inertia.
As a religious trans person, it's deeply insulting how many anti-trans religious authorities say things like "don't let the world tell you who you are, trust in the voice of God in your own heart" or something, and then go all surprised Pikachu when I'm still trans afterwards.
See also: “Just do (whatever task you’re struggling with).”
As if it’s as easy as that for everyone.
I told my mum once that I hate washing the dishes.
"Just wash up!" was the response. Yeah, cheers, mum. Didn't think of that one.
Growing up I was constantly told to try to be like someone else, because I'm too weird.
It depends with whom you are yourself with. If you're with other neurodivergent people, absolutely just be yourself, that tends to work well a lot of the time, at least in my experience.
I wasnt diagnosed with ADHD until I was in my 30s. By that time, masking had long since been instinctive to protect myself from other people. I have to feel very very safe around someone before I feel comfortable enough to start unmasking a bit because of the heinous things people did to me. That is what 30 years of trauma and abuse does and you do not fix that in an instant.