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this post was submitted on 05 Apr 2024
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Oh I feel you, turning 30 this year and feel like I am having a mid life crisis.
Do you also get the "oh don't be silly, 30 isn't that old!" attitude from people you confide those fears to? Super annoying.
I had an existential crisis at 33, and it is fucking annoying getting that response.
I know it's not that old, but it's the oldest I have ever been. The 30s was to me like a transition from teenager to adult. It is fucking rough, though it gets a lot better and definitely has perks.
In my experience the problem is not really all that age related at all, it's just that you're increasingly aware that you have to find your own meaning in life and that your choices now will directly affect everything that follows.
Age 25 I didn't feel like anything really mattered, I had time to fuck up. Now it feels like I have ten years to find something I consider worthwhile or I'll in all likelihood be permanently fucked.
To me, in my 20s, I was treated as I didn't know shit about anything (which is kind of true) and in my 30s I realized that being older doesn't mean people know their shit.
It shifted my perspective on the whole world and created that existential crisis.
I am not yet in my 40s, but I am comfortable with being a blip in the world and in the universe.
My only existential gripe right now is dealing with the thought of if I will survive one of my kid, or if I will die before they are in their 20s.
I am trying to be the best for my family and friends, and enjoy the process. Some people have a life changing event that shift their life around, but for most of us, the change is gradual until a few months/years later, you realise where you are. And at that point, you can decide whatever you want to do with that information.
And you know what's funny in all that? People like me will try to tell you what you should do in your situation, like people tried to do with me. But every person process events and emotions differently so you should definitely ignore whatever I say and what other people say if it doesn't make sense to you.
I might as well be a bot to you and that's all the same.
I feel the same as all your guys' comments. I turn 30 in like a week. It sucks balls.