I think it can be further boiled down to a belief that hierarchies are either necessary or good. All of the evil are cases where those higher up in the hierarchy impose their will on those lower.

Under those beliefs, the meaning of things like "respect" and "good/bad" are different than when one believes that everyone should be considered equal. The politeness version of respect is for equals, when they aren't equal, respect only needs to go one way and if it's sent the other way, it's more "effective management" and not giving respect "downwards" then boils down to a different management philosophy rather than simply being an asshole. They can even acknowledge that it is an asshole way to treat people, but there's an underlying belief that it's ok to be an asshole to lessers.

It also makes the whole "they believe in things that hurt themselves" make more sense. They just believe that those higher than them in the hierarchy deserve better treatment. Maybe there's an element of hoping to get there themselves one day, or maybe there's an element of just feeling like they are inferior to those they agree are their betters.

This is why they don't really care if Trump is consistent or if he'll help them directly. It's also why his support is wavering, because if he's not strong enough to win, then he isn't really their better and is just fooling them, which also helps explain why the ones who have tried to take his life seem to be former followers because they can't be neutral about him, it's either gotta be love or hate.

It makes sense that those who believe in it and those who don't would be at odds with each other because the two beliefs are very incompatible. I'm not sure there is a resolution. It used to be "just don't talk about politics, keep it private", but that wasn't sustainable as each side of the divide wanted to push for improvements under their belief system.

Conservatism

Have you ever met conservative atheists? I have and SOME of them have been the most hateful and vile people I ever met. It's like without any form of religion holding them back, you obtain the "purest form" of conservationism.

People shit on religion, but it's rarely a problem until it's conservative.

You've hit the nail on the head.

Conservatism is the mistake of assuming outright that people are evil, and therefore need to be punished and conquered into being good, or at least restricted. Where the reality is people aren't quite good or evil, they're more marbled, and if you buy the conservative misunderstanding, the punishing and the conquering are morally good, whereas stopping them is bad. What conservatism won't acknowledge or doesn't see is that when you grow, encourage, support, and develop the good parts, you can safely drop a large portion of the punishment and conquering stuff.

Most of what conservatism is defending itself against is its own way of doing things.

That sure is a divisive opinion...