32
Advice request: How do I stop venting to people?
(lemmy.world)
Welcome to Lemmy.World General!
This is a community for general discussion where you can get your bearings in the fediverse. Discuss topics & ask questions that don't seem to fit in any other community, or don't have an active community yet.
🪆 About Lemmy World
🧭 Finding Communities
Feel free to ask here or over in: !lemmy411@lemmy.ca!
Also keep an eye on:
For more involved tools to find communities to join: check out Lemmyverse!
💬 Additional Discussion Focused Communities:
Rules
Remember, Lemmy World rules also apply here.
0. See: Rules for Users.
I work with my one and only IRL friend. The other friends are online. So I vent to my IRL friend while we are working.
Plus writing stuff down doesn't seem to help me anyway.
Oh okay.
Well, I don't know the answer. Sounds like you're going to have to find some way to internalize the feelings and engage some coping mechanisms, so that you can file it away emotionally.
Maybe some breathing exercises, or taking a brief moment to meditate quietly in your chair. Or talk it out with your internal voice, which I think is what I do.
My suggestion is to get away from people, if even for 5 minutes. Go outside, go up or down in an inside stairwell that never gets used (think fire exit), or an unused room (supply, conference) and just say something like "what the actual fuck!". Take a deep breath and remember, that people who piss you off are just stupid people. And they will do it again. I vent at home alone, talking to myself. That way no one gets subjected to my toxic mood and I feel better. It also helps me process what the stupid people were trying to do, and why their parents wasted so much DNA. And enables me to decide how and if I want to react in the future. Talking to your friends long after the incident is a much healthier situation because you, and they (if they were present), are calmer and you can have a discussion as opposed to a venting/bitching session. Also, keep this in the back of your mind, "is there a solution to this issue?". The other way to vent with friends is to just ask, "can I vent for 5 minutes?", and then literally set a timer if they agree. And be sure to give them 5 minutes of your time to vent. Try very hard not to do this daily with people. Seeing a better therapist is a very good idea, They should be able to give you tools to cope. If they can't, find someone better. Good luck.