We have high standards for American Chinese food. There was this place where we used to live in the food was great. Not everything they made came out of a bag, and even the things that did come out of a bag had absolutely superior sauces. I don't know exactly what they did but whatever it was it was better heads and tails than anything else around here.

We ordered our regular dishes one day. A few hours later we were exploding out of both ends. Was it them? was lunch? Who knows? We went about our regular business and two weeks later ordered the same regiment. A few hours later we again were exploding out of both ends.

The puking wasn't all that bad but the raw acid diarrhea and the massive cramps were just insane.

This was a pretty bad scenario because of the time we lived in a house with one bathroom.

We never ordered from there again. They had this really great iced tea It took me ages to figure out how to replicate it. It ended up being like 14 to 1 regular sweetened black tea to Earl Gray, plus a splash of lemon.