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this post was submitted on 18 Dec 2024
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We had something like the first one when I was in high school. When I was a freshmen, I saw another student drop his pants, hop up on top of it, lower into the spout so it went ALL the way up his ass, reached around and turned the water on for a second, then lifted off and shot a wave of shit-water all over the basin/wall behind it, then hopped down and ran off giggling.
Yeah...
Haven't used a water fountain since.
Jesus
Do you like live in a version of Pawnee located in Texas?
I live in the cousin-fuckingly deep south, but prefer not to get more specific than that.
How do I unlearn to read?
Edit: Solved!
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Elementary school librarians told me reading would open up my mind to new possibilities. They didn't specify what kind of possibilities.
I'm afraid you actually unlearned to write. Are you sure you really can't read what I'm saying?
There's always Reddit for that.:-P
..huh?
..what..?
Public high school in a sketchy area. You'll see some things.
I also don’t, simply because my high school had a string of vandalism where some kid was pulling all of the water fountains out of the walls. Like he was just ripping them straight out. There’s no way they could support someone putting their entire body weight on it to shove the spout up their ass.
Your school's infrastructure was apparently even shittier than mine. In any case, he was a skinny little high schooler - that thing could have been screwed into drywall and still supported his weight.
...and if you don't think a water fountain spout could fit up someone's ass, I've got some foreign object removal stories from working in the OR that... well, you probably also wouldn't believe, but you'd be amazed what an anal sphincter can accommodate.
amaze me, i wana hear OR stories
Butt stuff doesn't come to the OR all that often - I think the ER handles 99% of those. We only take the worst of the worst, when forceps alone just aren't enough and the patient requires anesthesia.
On that note, the most impressive example in terms of diameter I've been in was a Nerf basketball kinda thing - cantelope-sized ball of that firm foam. Even with the compression of the foam, I would not have guessed it would have been possible for someone to get that up their ass, but one dude found a way. ...or, maybe his 'friends' found a way while he was passed out or something - didn't get the backstory on it, but the logstics behind making that happen would have to be a 2+ person job.
Anyway, getting the basketball out wasn't too crazy - just pulled chunks of foam out until it was in small enough pieces to yank out the rest. The impressive part was the monolith of poop that followed it - idk how long the dude waited between getting the nerf ball stuck up there and actually seeking help from a hospital, but... I don't think I personally produce that much shit in over a week. That didn't come out easy either - the colon reabsorbed like all of the water content from the poop, leaving it all as kind of a hard sandstone texture, so we had to chisel away at that like some kind of rectal archeologists until we got deep enough past the hardened section; then a massive log of more normal looking shit evicted itself and the extraction part was done.
Then we stuck a camera up his ass and inspected the distal bit of bowel for tears, which there miraculously were none.
So... PSA: if you want to stick something up your ass, go get a sex toy that's actually made for that with a widened base so it doesn't get stuck in there.
Thx for that story, ima better cancel my Nerfball order now....
There's also insertion and water pressure issues. It doesn't add up, I tell you.
Anyone remember that "devious licks" trend?
I sincerely wish I didn't believe me either.
Not even remotely the same but in the 90's mcdonalds still had salt and pepper shakers on the tables. I knew a guy who loved throwing them in the bag when he got up from the table along with the ten straws he grabbed and wad of napkins. He really was under some serious financial stress in no way due to anything he had done. I refused to use the salt and pepper shakers at his house and he kept bugging me as to why. I told him he didn't want to know but he insisted. Finally I told him about the time I saw some kids going from table to table licking the tops of the shakers. He immediately threw them all away. Later they started to reappear and it was because he figured out at the first of the month they replaced them and the new one usually had the seal left on them.
Before you trash the guy for doing that. The guy made 80 grand one year and could barely afford food. All that money went to paying his wife's medical bills. She had grown up inside the boundary of a superfund site out in new mexico and had all kinds of tumors and other problems. It was called a pre existing condition and his insurance wouldn't pay for hardly anything. They finally divorced so she could get SSI. That was in the early 2000's. This country sucked then and it still sucks.
Yeah no judgement for being frugal at McD's expense. 1) Fuck McD's, and 2) Do what to gotta do. There was a point in my life where I got meals from the condiment station at a college cafeteria. They had free ketchup, and a hot water dispenser thing for making tea, so I'd make 'tomato soup' by making myself a bowl of hot ketchup water. Couple handfuls of a single package saltines, and there's lunch. Life sucks when you can't afford anything, but it does make you become pretty creative when it comes to saving money.
The concept of cleaning things also saves a ton of money compared to throwing things away.
They were disposable salt and pepper shakers. I know you think it saves money but you can bet some bean counter at corporate did the math to prove that wrong.
Why did he need more than 1 or 2 pairs of salt and pepper shakers though? Why did Mcdonalds need to replace them every month instead of refilling them?
I’m going to take a guess that throwing away little cheap plastic shakers each month costs less than paying a person to clean and refill them.
So into the landfill they flow!
iirc, they were those plastic shakers that didn't actually have a way to get into them - nothing to unscrew to refill it. They were designed to be used until empty, then discarded and replaced.
Ah, I didn’t think that disposable ones would exist!
They still do exist. You can buy them at just about any store in the US. Mine are fifty year old Tupperware salt and pepper shakers. They may outlast the universe.
This is a strong argument for bidets on public toilets