Are you having a stroke right now?

Nothing is funnier than being both condescending as well as wrong.

According to everything Israel says, they are.

Sure. I think we could make room for an 11th province.

Deport his fascist ass out of Canada immediately.

Weapons grade stupid.

He should have just complied.

What do you mean I have to stop drinking gin if I want a liver transplant?

Patient dies because she didn't follow doctor's advice.

That's the hardest working "or" I've ever seen.

My dryer has a "less dry" setting.

Who likes their laundry done rare?