“Get out of the dog house card” isn’t going to work the way either of them think. Pulling that card when you’re in the doghouse is not going to make her fine with whatever upset her. There’s a good chance she’ll say she’s “fine” because she doesn’t want to renege on her chart, but whatever conflict isn’t going to resolve itself because he gave her that card.
Trading sex for chores is gross. I don’t want a BJ or lap-dance from a partner that is only doing it because the sticker chart says she has to.
It’s also insane that things like washing dishes or packing lunches or changing diapers aren’t part of the baseline expectations for a dad. You don’t get an award for doing the bare minimum!
Both of these people are demonstrating the emotional intelligence of a block of cheese.
Start saving for retirement now. You can make literally millions by putting away 10% of your income early on. Do it automatically so you never even notice the money gone.
If you are worried about making the wrong choice and your company doesn’t have a 401k, open an IRA somewhere (Fidelity if you need someone to make the decision for you) and pick a date targeted fund. Set up auto deposit. Never look at the balance.
You can always make it better later but for now the best thing to do is start. Don’t let analysis paralysis get in the way.