I know the feeling too well of not having a place to invite somebody to. But I always told myself that if it ever came down to it, I hopefully could convince the two halfbrained adults that call themselves my parents to behave for a few hours. But in the end it didn't really matter because it never came down to it anyway.

A long while ago there was a post by a distressed young woman who struggled to enter relationships. I really connected with what she said but of course had no answer for her either. But what I've noticed is that all comments completely missed the point of the question.

I used a casino as a metaphor for dating which I think applies pretty well. Dating is essentialy that - no matter how much effort you put in, nothing is ever guaranteed or given, it all essentially comes down to luck.

What the vast majority of people hear when somebody is asking for dating advice is that they play the game but lack any success. They then give you advice on how to play your cards right, how to increase your chances, how to cut you losses, etc. But they don't understand it's not about how to win the table, but how to get into the casino in the first place. Not what to I tell the dealer at the table, but what do I tell the bouncer at the door?

It's not about the rejection I'm facing, its about the fact that my mere approach is seen as an insult. It's the audacity to ask to be included in something that is considered a normal part of life for others.

There's a disorder, I forgot what it's called but it makes people feel especially uneasy around psychopaths, even if the psychopaths themselves are extremely good at hiding their psychopathy. Basically those people can pick up on queues nobody else, not even the psychopaths themselves are aware of. This is essential how I and many others feel, like there's something about us that we are unaware of but everybody else picks up on that tells them to keep their distance. Something that is outside of our control. We could have every trait that would make anybody other than us attractive, yet we would still end up being alone because at some point nature pointed her finger at us at said "Yes, but not you".

Its 25-34.

I don't want to tie any personal information to my lemmy account but let's say I'm still in YouTubes biggest advertisment age bracket.

This is coming from somebody with zero medical background.

I can't speak for why it is eyes and tears that are affected by sadness (maybe the proximity to the brain). But I assume the connection itself is neurological aided a lot by hormones. It also isn't static, it can change over time.

I for example completely lost the ability to cry. No matter how fucked up the situation, how sad, how stressed I am I feel the pressure in my eyes but I can't cry. Keyword being "lost", it wasn't always like that.

But then there are people that will literally cry at every possible occasion, not even connected to sadness in any way.

It always felt like between the ages of 12 - 18 (basically while you were in middle-/highschool) you need to get some sort of "seal of approval" from the other sex as a prove that you are relationship material. If you didn't get that you'll always be seen as somebody to stay away from.

I've heard a lot of times that those young relationships are completely inconsequential, but I think it's those lack of consequences that serve best as a social teaching tool on how to recognize and have an actual meaningful relationship when you're older.

And I feel like this experience is exactly what a lot of men and women are struggling to get. They have trouble finding partners and if they do they are not good partners themselves. Which is sort of a self fulfilling prophecy, you are deemed bad relationship material so you'll become bad relationship material.

I recognized this about myself. At my age the only people left are either young divorcees, people with small children or people that are like me - single for a good reason. There will be expectations towards me that I'm neither aware of nor will probably be able to fulfill. Dating well below my age range is neither something I can pull off nor something that I am comfortable with. So I'm forever stuck in this weird limbo of wanting a relationship but knowing that whoever will be my first partner will probably not have a great time with me.

I think this is also the root of a lot of toxic behavior. People turn to sources of knowledge to at least get some idea about what an relationship is about. But all they find is the Cosmopolitans and the Andrew Tate's who prey upon peoples' loneliness and desperation for profit. I understand that nobody wants to be a teacher, I understand that nobody wants to throw away years of their life so that the next person will maybe have a better time with your partner.

Ali Wong had a good joke about this in her special with something along the lines off not wanting a divorce because then she'd have to teach the next guy how to please her. Taylor Tomilison also had one about wanting to call her ex during sex just so he could explain to the next guy how he did it for her. I know those are just jokes, but it think there is a bit of truth in them.

We could kiss each other on the mouth.

A brief summary of the history of Europe.

First thete were the Italians but back then they weren't called the Italians, back then the were called Roman Empire because it sounded cooler. They set out to conquer the whole world, not knowing that this would also include the small tiny tiny provide of ALL OF CHINA, and India, and Persia. But they came pretty far into Europe's mainland. But then the were like "It's to biggus, we can't governus all thatus, let's justus leavus." And then for like 5 minutes everybody could develope their own culture - surprisingly even Britain, but their culture was mostly throwing rocks at Scotts and building boats to escape their women.

So while everybody was cooking, the Spanish decided it would be cool to fall of the edge of the earth, but to everybodies disappointment they just discovered America instead, which was a little less cool because they hoped to stop at India but GPS hadn't been invented yet.

Then 50 million people died because of the plague.

...

Anyway, the Jews survived because not only did they have soap, but contrary to The French™ they actually used it too (this will be important later).

So Jews were suddenly everywhere, and the catholic church didn't like that. Luckily the catholic church got nerfed into the evangelical church because they offline farmed XP during the crusades and gotten to OP.

So while everybody was busy swimming to America to find out what all the fuzz is about, The French™ decided to conquer Europe but this time with more sass. But then they got too sassy and a bunch of students killed all the rich guys on a mountain. But then they themselves themselves became the rich guys on the mountain. I know shocker.

Then Germany was like "Why are we just like 20 small countries in a trenchcoat instead of being an actual kingdom, yo Austria you in?" And Austria was like "No, fuck you, here take this random painter dude, but carefull, he's wierdo."

Then some prince guy was chilling a little bit to conformably outside 6th street, and a Serbian dude was like "He he, don't mind if I do." and 360 noscoped him (but only on the 3rd try tho, he had really bad RNG). And then Germany was like "That's a neat trick, but check this out." And then 17 Million people died.

After everybody ran out of food and ammo, the weird Austrian painter guy was like "Man all those Jews with their soap, what if we just turn them into soap, hehe". AND he was salty because he got gassed big time in the first war so he wanted to gas someone back. Then he proceeded to scream "ROUND 2 BABY" and then 80 Million people died.

Afterwards America, the British and Moscow were like "That's it Germany, 1 was pushing it, but 2 is enough, you don't get to be a country any more". Weirdly even The French™ had a say in this even tho they lost their whole country in the pre-game.

But Japan was like "We wirru neveru surrenderu." but made the mistake to attack Americas boats (they really love their boats). So America decided to drop 2 Suns on them and then they were finally like "OK, we surrenderu". And that's how anime got invented.

America had its Emo phase and decided to hurt itself by dropping 2000 Suns on Nevada (which explains a lot) and some Islands. Japan thinks that we made a giant lizard they call Gojira, but nobody tell them that we just made that up.

Moscows Nevada was Kazakhstan and they also dropped 2000 suns there until they almost lit the atmosphere on fire on some Island because they laced their scientists coffee with vodka.

Meanwhile in Ukraine a nuclear reactor exploded, and soap wouldn't cut it this time. So while Russia were fixing that they ran out if money to fix the cracks in the wall that divided Germany so a bunch of hippies could just break it down with their bare hands. So Germany could finally be a country again. Everybody was skeptic at first until they started making cars and then everybody just couldn't stay mad at them anymore.

Moscow in the meantime was like "Everybody for themselves" and broke the USSR up into a bunch of countries that all look and sound the same but are irrational angry with each other.

The US and Britain then said to Russia "OK we will not station our Suns right at your doorstep in Ukraine if you stop eyeballin in for like 5 seconds." And Russia said "OK, hehe".

Then Russia was still like "Is for me ^///^" and took a big chunk of the Ukraine making it look weirdly unsymmetrical on the map. Strangely everybody was kind of Ok with that.

Then the British got divorced from the EU and can only see France and Germany on weekends.

Russia then tried to go for doubles and take the whole Ukraine, but this time everybody went "Nuh uh", ordered a bunch of toy drones from Temu, superglued some grenades to them and showed them that "War really has Changed". So this has been going on for like 3 years now.

And this is exactly why we hate The French™

Also somehow the Nazis have returned.

In either scenario, I'm more interested in where the matter you're made of will come from:

• Either you go to the past and suddenly add additional atoms to the universe.
• All the atoms you're made of will suddenly be taken from their origin to form you.
• You'll be made from entirely new atoms created from pure energy meaning your arrival will cost ~6.75 Quintillion as in 10^18 Joules (I eyeballed the speed of light here so don't @ me).

You don't have to, just know that we are united by our common hate for The French™

Come to think of it we already had driverless vehicles, they were called horses. A trained horse could probably get you back home safely even if you hapoen pass out on it. But it still wasn't common practice to take a nap on a horse back.

The Computer doesn't make me feel bad for my hobbies.
The Computer doesn't question my life choices. The Computer doesn't judge me on appearance. The Computer tells me if we have a problem right away. The Computer doesn't cancel plans at the last second. The Computer is there for me if I need it. The Computer doesn't forget what made it fun in the first place. The Computer doesn't make me feel neglected.

Maybe if people would be a little nicer to each other we wouldn't have to replace them with screens.

Not posting this was free.