The last thing I said before going under general anesthesia a couple of weeks ago was "I don't think it's working." Because I'm a fucking genius.

Tell your wife I love her

Thank you for asking this. I’m going under day after tomorrow for knee surgery, so I’m going to pick one of these to use. :)

Y'all showed up for this post! Lemmy is looking better all the time :)

TW: Existentialism/Death

Not a funny thing to say before going out, but when I was about to do the mask I thought about what it would be like to be totally unconscious after I die, and woke up laughing and cracking jokes. It wasn't so bad during the procedure when my awareness was off 😜

If I'm not back by morning...call the president.

“This could be a software problem, can we try turning me off and on again?”

I said "wow, that's strong".

Last time I had surgery, I think I made a comment about the surgeon's good taste in music. I was in Argentina, but the surgeon was listening to US 80s music :)

Now I lay me down to sleep, the chaos take my soul to keep. If I should die, before I wake, the Lords of Chaos my vengeance to take.

Or Joe Pesci, he gets shit done.

I actually did this one.

I was having my wisdom teeth removed. I was like 23. The anesthesiologist was a cute little blonde chick. Apparently the last thing I said before I went under was "Man this girl is a real...knockout..."

I didn't get her number.

Good luck op! I hope it's a success Friday!

The galaxy is in Orion's bell...

Man, that's rough, fingers crossed for you yo!!!

Also, "I'll see you in there."

"Damn, I really need to take a shit..."

"Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast"

"I usually prefer isoflurane, but I'll take a hit of this" only works if they don't use isoflurane.

"So this was what it was like for my victims" if you want to go dark.

"Hey, who's that tall, hairy woman in white dress behind you?"

I only know when you wake up you ask, "what year is it." If you can manage it.

Make comments unrelated to your actual procedure.

"hope the transplant goes well." / "really looking forward to this m to f transition"

"Is now a bad time to tell you guys I smoke crystal meth and use other amphetamines?" Real zinger, they love it