New position! : linkedinlunatics

[+] _bcron_@lemmy.world 152 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

[deleted]

[-] krashmo@lemmy.world 31 points 2 months ago

Yeah that salami really rubbed against that pickle...

I thought that was going to be just a food pun but when I was done writing it out it felt more sexual than culinary. Whatever, I'm leaving it.

[-] SkyezOpen@lemmy.world 30 points 2 months ago

The question is whether it's tongue in cheek, or if he's genuinely that terrified of having a gap in his resumé...

[-] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 26 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

Jesus christ, the people on this platform...

Do you really think they're keeping the fact they've been to prison on the down low? It's a joke at their own expense.

[-] voracitude@lemmy.world 6 points 2 months ago

What's kind of funny about this response is that the other post reads like a deadpan joke, to me, based on the premise there is no limit to the crazy you can find on LinkedIn.

[-] givesomefucks@lemmy.world 140 points 2 months ago

Can't have a gap on a resume...

[-] GBU_28@lemm.ee 83 points 2 months ago

Totally with this. It's hilarious.

[-] Akasazh@feddit.nl 11 points 2 months ago

I exhaled slightly through my nose

[-] AnxiousOtter@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

The greatest of compliments.

[-] YurkshireLad@lemmy.ca 50 points 2 months ago

The one thing you don't want to announce before going to prison is "I'm happy to share!".

[-] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 40 points 2 months ago

Actually kinda brilliant the level of self awareness here.

[-] MonkderVierte@lemmy.ml 2 points 2 months ago

Or the lack thereof.

[-] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 6 points 2 months ago

Lemmites genuinely cannot comprehend satire, can they?

It's worse than Reddit.

[-] expatriado@lemmy.world 39 points 2 months ago

hope those comments are wishing him a long career at Cumberland

[-] itsathursday@lemmy.world 27 points 2 months ago

Is this real?

[-] lazycouchpotato@lemmy.world 29 points 2 months ago

Yep

https://www.nbcchicago.com/news/national-international/ryan-salaman-linkedin-ftx-michelle-bond/3571854/

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 27 points 2 months ago

I don't know how Linkdin does these things, but is it possible that he just updated his job title as "inmate" and "Place of work" or whatever to FCI Cumberland and that the system did the rest, generating the sentence and adding the image? Or did he have to type it all out himself?

[-] Dragonstaff@leminal.space 22 points 2 months ago

100% the first one, but absolutely hilarious in any case.

[-] Bilbo_Haggins@lemm.ee 25 points 2 months ago

"Michelle Bond and her co-conspirator romantic partner attempted to fund her campaign for the U.S. House of Representatives by illegally using hundreds of thousands of dollars from corporate coffers, among other sources, and then lying to Congress and others to cover it all up," U.S. Attorney Damian Williams said.

The pair met in June 2021, according to prosecutors, and they have a young child together."

Holy fuck that child is going to have a fucked up childhood. I am so sorry, kid.

[-] PunnyName@lemmy.world 22 points 2 months ago

The toxic positivity of LinkedIn continues.

[-] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 3 points 2 months ago

There's nothing toxic about making a joke at your own expense.

[-] 5714@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 2 months ago

License plate making is a bit too crypto-adjacent in my opinion /s

[-] explodicle@sh.itjust.works 4 points 2 months ago

Metal stamping is a good way to protect seed phrases from fire.

[-] Kusimulkku@lemm.ee 9 points 2 months ago

This is fucking based as all hell

[-] Etterra@lemmy.world 7 points 2 months ago

I'll bet his mom is super proud.

[-] AFC1886VCC@reddthat.com 4 points 2 months ago

https://youtu.be/FWqimMpbTyU

Salame!

LinkedinLunatics