Arch

Anal (Ubuntu)

Because at this point, if you're still on it you're taking it up the ass from Canonical

Debian is a full day of romantic walks on the beach, fine dining, dancing, and taking in a romantic comedy, followed by easy quick familiar sex and then falling asleep in front of an episode of cozy reality television.

(It can become anything I imagine, but the defaults are just so comfortable...)

autoerotic asphyxiation

Gentoo is busting instantly and waiting 6 months for the Baby to compile

Cowgirl.

She came prepared, she took control and told me this was a hands off experience. I didn’t need to do anything myself. I just had sex and it was cool.

Bazzite (or any other immutable distro)

Fedora, so missionary position, but the lights are on and we're on top of the covers.

i'm a linux user do i look like i have sex

Debian, no-sex is safe sex

NixOS just sits on your face. All the stuff in front of you is awesome. Though you might suffocate at any moment given the options. Oh and sticking your nose too deep into things might get you a broken nose.

Kubuntu is like wearing a condom because you have to

(it's the only thing that consistently boots on my weird Samsung laptop. everything else intermittently boot loops...)

Abstinence, most likely

Wrong group of people to try to get a Cosmo article out of.

Cowgirl (because hat because Fedora)

NixOS, probably some extreme bondage

Arch, masturbation

Raspberry pi os, its like sex but with more lego

Doggystyle

Missionary but with a bunch of kinky German bondage equipment.

Rocket

Slackware is a bearded old man trying to get it up, holding a picture of Lilo.

Glory Hole

Raspberry Pi OS is sticking your hardware through a small hole into what a full Linux distribution would feel like, given sufficient imagination

Me-Butt-U (Ubuntu) … ok , I’ll show myself out

Missionary (Linux Mint)

Taking tea with the parson, of course.

Deepin Bodhi, Lubuntu Manjaro,

Arch,

Arch,

Arch,