Clown School Student Who Tried to Smuggle Gold-Plated Pistol into Australia Claims Google Said It Was 'OK' : nottheonion

[-] flamingo_pinyata@sopuli.xyz 99 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

There's even more to the story, every step even more absurd than the other:

US woman caught with golden gun in luggage at Sydney airport jailed for a year
US woman backflips in court, pleads guilty to smuggling 24-carat gold gun into Sydney

A review of Goodson’s phone revealed she had searched online “can I have a gun in my suitcase?” and set a calendar entry with a note reminding her to “put gun in suitcase”.

“What about the gun in your bag?” she was asked by a customs officer. Goodson replied: “Oh yeah, I forgot about that.”

"I am scared of shooting it... I would probably just pistol whip until I got training again," she said.

The court also heard that she previously owned two other guns while living in the States, but she had accidentally given them away. "Those guns I ended up giving away, because I accidentally left them in a donation box."

[-] infectoid@lemmy.world 95 points 2 weeks ago

Clown school principal: “I’m sorry ma’am, we have nothing to teach you.”

[-] Biskii@lemmy.dbzer0.com 42 points 2 weeks ago

US woman backflips in court

I'm gonna need a courtroom sketch of that

[-] TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip 25 points 2 weeks ago

You’re welcome.

[-] RedAggroBest@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

The stupid of this chick really manages to one-up itself with each sentence, huh?

[-] TerkErJerbs@lemm.ee 11 points 2 weeks ago

Holy fuck 💀

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] RobotToaster@mander.xyz 80 points 2 weeks ago

[+] _bcron_@lemmy.world 72 points 2 weeks ago

[deleted]

[-] saltesc@lemmy.world 46 points 2 weeks ago

But, wait! There's more...

her lawyer argued she should not have to serve prison time because her "creative side is coming back out now," adding that she volunteers at a local art center and is working on an album.

[-] TranquilTurbulence@lemmy.zip 40 points 2 weeks ago

That’s the best argument she could come up with? Well, good luck with that.

[-] Stamau123@lemmy.world 18 points 2 weeks ago

Well she is a literal clown

[-] superkret@feddit.org 4 points 2 weeks ago

not yet!

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 43 points 2 weeks ago

as someone who went to clown school, I can't say that everyone there was very smart.

they had to have an intervention with the year below me because they all stopped eating solid food to do a fad diet with some kind of herbal tea.

[-] sir_pronoun@lemmy.world 42 points 2 weeks ago

I want to lie down on a rug in front of the fireplace and listen to your clown school tales, while you sit in a rocking chair and knit

[-] fjordbasa@lemmy.world 28 points 2 weeks ago

Wouldn’t tying balloon animals be more appropriate than knitting?

[-] Zahille7@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Too squeaky

[-] hoanbridgetroll@midwest.social 14 points 2 weeks ago

Just putting it out there - this is one of those situations where a story about the inner drama of clown school (with pictures if possible) could elevate you to an internet legend. I personally had no idea it was a multi-year process.

Joel McHale might play you in the movie adaptation. This lady could make a cameo once she’s out of prison and deported back to the US. Maybe don’t startle her on set, though.

[-] wise_pancake@lemmy.ca 13 points 2 weeks ago

I bet you could do a really interesting AMA based on that experience

[-] funkless_eck@sh.itjust.works 9 points 2 weeks ago

Maybe!

in the mean time the school I attended in name checked in this article

https://news.sky.com/story/i-was-forced-to-smell-soiled-underwear-inside-the-culture-of-abuse-at-the-uks-top-drama-schools-13003497

[-] sir_pronoun@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

Dude, you're only making us more anxious for the storytelling hour

[-] Sergio@slrpnk.net 4 points 2 weeks ago

Another vote for Clown School AMA. I used to know a couple jugglers, they had friends who were street performers and professional clowns, always very interesting.

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] HeartyOfGlass@lemm.ee 34 points 2 weeks ago

That is how you show up to clown school.

load more comments (2 replies)

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 28 points 2 weeks ago

Her lawyer said she packed the pistol because she was high and paranoid from synthetic marijuana, which she uses to cope with trauma

She shouldn't be allowed to own a gun in the first place.

[-] blindbunny@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 weeks ago

Because she does drugs? By that standard no one should own a gun.

[-] thedirtyknapkin@lemmy.world 20 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

because she's self medicating for trauma and it's making her paranoid. this is clearly not a very stable person. in fact, believing the first thing you read on Google about how to use guns is another pretty good sign that that aren't going to use it safely.

there's better and worse ways to use drugs. self medicating to escape something is generally the worst way to use them. like, i get it. I've been there. it's how i went from casual user with company to unstable addict. I eventually recognized that and have gotten clean. the reason we need a doctor to help us with dosages to relieve symptoms without losing ourselves is because drugs make us feel good in general. it's basically impossible to look at yourself and know when it's too much or inappropriate usage.

all that said, i get it. when you can't afford a doctor to do that for you sometimes you just need to kill whatever feeling is inside of you. sometimes you need to run away to survive. just don't buy a firearm while you do that...

[-] Zak@lemmy.world 12 points 2 weeks ago

People who currently use drugs illegally are also forbidden from having guns in the USA. Hunter Biden was convicted of the related offense of lying about it on the background check form.

load more comments (1 replies)

load more comments (6 replies)

[-] vk6flab@lemmy.radio 27 points 2 weeks ago

No brain cells were harmed, or even used in any way during that particular interaction .. I suppose they also eat rocks or inject bleach?

[-] BossDj@lemm.ee 19 points 2 weeks ago

Google "Here are 5 million results that say you can't bring a gun in your suitcase, and ONE that says you can"

Clown selecting the ONE result "I KNEW IT"

Google "Just because I have it doesn't make it true!!"

[-] Good_morning@lemmynsfw.com 11 points 2 weeks ago

Google does tend to find what it thinks you want. She probably entered something analogous to "ok to have gun in Australia"

[-] zephorah@lemm.ee 16 points 2 weeks ago

This wins the most ridiculous thing I’ve read on the internet this year. And it’s December.

[-] Gammelfisch@lemmy.world 15 points 2 weeks ago

A Florida woman that wanted to attend clown school, that explains everything.

[-] weew@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 weeks ago

That's like a fish that wants to attend swimming lessons

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

she was just trying to learn how to fit in in Florida better

[-] dumbass@leminal.space 15 points 2 weeks ago

her lawyer argued she should not have to serve prison time because her "creative side is coming back out now," adding that she volunteers at a local art center and is working on an album.

I don't think being an artist's with an album in works is a great defence.

If it works, then I'll be constantly working on my next album.

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] ikidd@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I... can fix her...

[-] kreskin@lemmy.world 14 points 2 weeks ago

At last-- The world so badly needs the skills and professionalism that a "clown school" will bring. We can populate the next generation of politicans, CEOs, and journalists from this clown school.

[-] Viking_Hippie@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 2 weeks ago

We can populate the next generation of politicans, CEOs, and journalists from this clown school.

I thought we already did? Where else would they be finding Republican politicians and opinion columnists?

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Xenny@lemmy.world 11 points 2 weeks ago

This woman is going to be very successful in her future career

[-] potpotato@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

“Clown” is a noun or adjective?

[-] cjoll4@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

In the phrase "clown school," "clown" is an attributive noun, also sometimes called an adjectival noun. It is a noun that is used as an adjective in order to modify another noun. Clown school is a school where you learn how to be a clown.

load more comments (2 replies)

load more comments (1 replies)

[-] Frostbeard@lemmy.world 8 points 2 weeks ago

Not makeup but permanent ink....

[-] sir_pronoun@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

I.. I think I'm in love with her

[-] ByteOnBikes@slrpnk.net 6 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

You know the headline is packed when there's a literal golden gun and not a single N64 Goldeneye reference.

load more comments (4 replies)

[-] Skullgrid@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

#🤡

[-] AllNewTypeFace@leminal.space 4 points 2 weeks ago

Jesus mother of fuck

[-] Branch_Ranch@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

Why is synthetic Marijuana a thing?

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 7 points 2 weeks ago

people testing the boundaries of THC prohibition?

[-] taanegl@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 weeks ago

Wanna know how I got these scars? Student debt a s 5 years of the gig economy.

Not The Onion

Welcome

The Rules