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this post was submitted on 28 Dec 2024
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I am a former correctional officer of the texas department of justice and this exact same situation happened and I too stood by and listened as it happened. I helped escort the man from his cell to medical. I stood by listening to the other guard talk about how much of his ass he would be kicking. I stood there as they took him into a cameraless backroom and listened as they beat that man handcuffed. I stood to stop it, thoughts of pulling my pepper spray and going in there and just letting loose. A sergeant told me to sit back down and I did. I was not physically overpowered. I sat back down, and I listened. The only difference in this is that my victim didn't die. I reported it afterwards. I reported it to the warden, to the state, to the media. Warden tried to reassign me back under the command of the person I accused in the most dangerous part of the prison. The state sent an investigator but nobody talked but me, not even my victim. I sent everything I had to local media and prison rights groups and heard NOTHING back. No one cared. It happened all the time, it was sanctioned, it happens in every prison in this country. The only difference is that this man died and the countless others did not.
I look at those 14 names and I cannot help but feel I deserve to be on it. I was never punished for my cowardice. I quit, I say ACAB, I tell my story but I was not and never will be punished for my inaction because no one cares about an inmate being beaten by a guard unless he fucking dies.
Forgive yourself. You quit. You told the story, possibly innumerable times. Thank you for that.
It happened to me decades ago. My PARENTS didn't care.
"Well what did you say to make them so angry?"
I was still a teenager, and cops with guns and nightsticks had to beat me up while I was being processed and wearing handcuffs, all because I was "running my mouth".
ACAB
My mom had the exact same reaction when I was abused by the cops.
Basically saying I must have done something to deserve it.
ACAB idd.
But some people would rather believe that cops are always innocent than trusting what their children are saying. Fucks with my head so hard
You should look up the Just World fallacy. It’s a pattern of thinking where people innately believe that the world is just, because it helps them avoid the uncomfortable truth that bad things can happen to good people.
Once you understand it, you start to see it everywhere. For instance, it is the basis for modern conservative social policy. It’s what drives the “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” mentality, because conservatives want to believe that if someone is destitute it is a failing on their end. Because if you accept that good, hard working people can fall on hard times, then you also need to accept that it can happen to you. And that’s a very scary thought, so many people will outright reject it.
Your mom asking what you did to deserve it is just another example. She doesn’t want to believe that a bad thing happened to you for no reason. Because that means the world is unjust, and that’s a scary thought.
I can see how you would think that, reasonably, but you're wrong.
About my mom at least.
You don't want to believers someone can have an uncaring mother, because you want to live in a world where all moms love theirs children.
They don't.
I'm not even 25% of my mom's kids, technically.
Once you understand the general concept of amathia, you will see it everywhere as well.
https://howtobeastoic.wordpress.com/2016/01/19/one-crucial-word/
I guess accepting the idea that people in a position of authority can and do abuse that authority with near impunity on a daily basis, to the point of straight up murdering people at random, is too horrifyingly unbearable for some.
"No, I can't really be left at the whims of sadists and the criminally insane by society, it must be the individual's fault."
So... My father is a retired cop who used to abuse the shit out of me and my brother. Used to brag at the dinner table about arresting people for a crime he called "POPO" (that's Pissing Off a Police Officer). He simultaneously won't accept that these actions are abuses of his authority and power. He sees himself as a "good cop" among a majority of "good cops". So he doesn't even recognize his abuse as abusive.
So he doesn't understand why I tell his autistic grandsons not to talk to cops. He doesn't get that autistic people have processing delays and may not be able to understand an instruction, especially when it is being shouted at them in a high stress situation. Or that they may not be able to turn an instruction into the correct body movement. Or they may need clarification on the instruction, or like, just not be bossed around in the first place.
He completely flipped out, as a matter of fact, becoming verbally abusive toward me when I supported my decision with some uncomfortable citations (he had the same look on his face as he used to get when he would beat me, which caused some PTSD flare ups over the following months, but he did not strike, probably because he knew I'd have prosecuted his ass). He wound up on some insane rant about Jesus and God and love. Absolute delusional refusal of the notion that someone might not be a bootlicking sycophant for every cop in the universe by default, or that someone might feel uncomfortable around a person with outsized power and influence over them and a gang of others in the same position a radio call away.
Yeah, that's sort of it.
But then any pleading from the victim will only make it worse, as it will just stack more blame on them no matter what they say, since the person they're explaining it to can not accept what they're being told.
https://howtobeastoic.wordpress.com/2016/01/19/one-crucial-word/
Mine didnt either. I walked out of that prison immediately after and called my dad, the person I trusted the most in the world just to have him tell me to go back inside. My heart shattered. In that moment I realized I was truly alone in this situation.
"You — against the atom, the charm and the spin. Where the whole world failed — matter failed to bend to human will; human will failed to get out of bed and tie its laces"
I'm sorry that happened to you. I wish I could be something more than sorry.
All we can do is try to make things better for the next generations. At least now people are listening. If it weren't for everyone having access to recording devices, we'd never be able to even hope for change.
You do not deserve to be on that list. You are a good person despite your former profession. The fact that you were able to realize how fucked up things were, to leave, to literally put your safety on the line to try to fix it, make you better than most men on this earth.
Thank you. ACAB (but not the ones that quit from the injustice 😉)
Edit- anyone know a guy who can get this guy on the news to talk about this case and how it's endemic to the system?
Regardless of my feelings after the fact, I do belong on that list. I did not do anything in the moment it was required of me. Part of it is the guilt yes, but I think this feeling mainly stems from the wish that all people involved should face punishment. And if they should, then I should even if I was the only one who reported it, talked about it, didn't commit perjury and continue their crimes against humanity for the sake of fucking health insurance.
Nevertheless I appreciate you. I expected the same vitriol currently being sent towards these people who did the same thing as me in the moment and all I have gotten is a thank you and "your a good person". It's producing emotions hard to process in the PTSD laden state that this news has sent me into but I appreciate the thought and I take it in kind.
As for speaking about it, I am willing to talk to anyone and everyone who'd listen. I just don't think anyone with a platform is listening. I don't think anyone cares. In a day or two another tragedy will occur and the only ones who will care will be those who wish to bury it and the one being buried. So it goes.
A close friend of mine had to quit the force after a few years. Luckily for him the only thing he dealt with was the guilt of having to put kids in jail for weed. He still feels guilty about it.
Admittedly once I found out he was a cop for a few years I didn't trust him. But after hearing his stories and understanding that he had to leave because he wasn't one of them. He actually went to college and had plans to be a detective but had to give up that entire life plan because he just couldn't handle all the corruption and abuse.
Sucks that you have to continue to suffer because the system was broken. Hope you understand that you (and my buddy) were also victims on some level.
Reach out to your local FBI field office and tell them you have a potential civil rights case. Hopefully they will do their job.
I did. They didn't. There's no evidence, no cameras, no one would talk. Not my partner through training, not any of the doctors, none of the nurses, none of the sergeants or lieutenant, not even the inmate. It's like it didn't happen. That's why people say ACAB. Because it is every single fucking one.
Yep. None of them are on the side of justice. They're just on their side and if you question it you might be treated as a rat by the other police.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaD84DTGULo
Pretty much the same happened to me except there was evidenced and it didn't matter jack shit.
I sometimes wonder if it's a symptom of an extremely individualistic society, would people be more willing if they grew with an ideal bigger than personal wellbeing?
Yep! Also, there aren't enough people who understand that helping others will end up helping themselves.
That’s a shame. I’m sorry you have to live with that.
Yeah this is exactly why ACAB is wrong even though all the points are right. The good points deserve a name that isn't stupid.
Wrong. Acab. All cops are bastards. As a person who participated in the system, I was bastardized for it. I was pressured as a "good man" to stand by and listen to a man be beaten. I was put back under the authority of the man I had accused of a crime that if convicted would lead to his life most likely ending in the same facility he "guarded". I was buried by every single other person in that room who refused to talk.
I was bastardized. All cops are. You either quit or you embrace it. And even in quitting, you still carry the guilt that you could of stopped it. At least escalated it by starting a 2nd fight. But was I going to swing on a man wearing the same uniform as me? No. My cowardice was exploited and I was bastardized alongside them.
ACAB isn't wrong. I stand by those words and their meaning. I spit in the direction of anyone who not only doesn't understand but goes out of their way to defend "the good ones" there ain't no good ones. The only one who's "good" is the one who quits and that only happens after he failed himself first.