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What HATED or highly disliked movie you ACTUALLY really enjoyed?
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this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2025
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Jupiter Ascending. It was a low writing effort but big budget high fantasy with a slightly too perfect protagonist, "science" that makes absolutely 0 sense, and a cartoonishly evil villain just absolutely chewing the scenery which is pretty common, except most most of the time the protagonist is male. I loved seeing the equivalent of my 13 y/o mary sue fanfiction on a movie screen with a massive budget (edit: and channing tatum as her loyal dog consort-boyfriend). Just this once. More than that would get as tired just as quickly as the male equivalent. But just this once it was delicious. I have the poster framed actually, the real poster from the theater, my friend who worked there saved it for me.
This is one of my comfort movies. I really wish it had done well and I feel like the marketing team dropped the ball on it. The whole bureaucracy navigation montage was a fun ride.
Its my dream to write an epic ballad about four people attempting to navigate such a planet except its been recently renovated to be candyland themed to be easier and more pleasant to access (it is not). One dude is trying to get a copy of the deed to his dad's farm on a distant planet, one dude is trying to find out if he passed the CDL exam for interstellar cargo hauling, and the last is a moderately rich kid trying to get his license reinstated after a DUI.
As someone who absolutely loved Cloud Atlas, I read the reviews for Jupiter Ascending hoping to be blown away yet again and I just couldn't bring myself to even watch it. Considering The Matrix Resurrections was so bad I almost left the theater, I thought I chose right... Wachowskis have repeatedly missed the mark lately. Maybe I'll give it a watch anyway.
I mean it's not good. It's a gas station hot dog (terrible but surprisingly tasty when you're drunk) the same as that sort of thing is with a male protagonist, but it's fun to watch when that's all you're watching it for and just this once it's nice to see a girl to do it for a change.
How could you not mention the cat ears on the male love interest? Easily the most iconic part
I was trying to figure out how to fit in everything I love about the male love interest without making it sound weird but lbr after putting up with female love interests in movies like this for years we all earned Channing Tatum as a dog consort-boyfriend.