I mean, you put a bib on him. He's a hungy lil baby

There was this new kid at (public) middle school we kinda started feeling sorry for. He was always dressed nice. Had an excuse for PE. Had a special lunch from the cafeteria because of dietary needs. Turns out his parents were super specialized doctors or surgeons or something. After a couple of months he said he could have one of person over at a time after school. I went over first on my skateboard. He had one that he didn't know how to ride, so he walked. We get to his house and they have this amazing view of the water and mountains. A fucking indoor pool and jacuzzi. Green house in the middle of the entryway with tropical plants. The mom greeted us and makes us leave our skateboards outside, take off our shoes, and told us the house rules. She asked me what my parents did and was just kind of deadeyes when I told her (boring, middle class work). We went to his room that had a goddamn computer in, most households didn't have anything like that at the time. He had his own private phone line, cable tv, and tons of plastic model cars and planes. He had an RC Car. I was blown away and then he shows me their entertainment room with a giant projector tv, air hockey, a film projector and screen, and a bunch of other shit I can't remember. I feel like I spent about an hour there before the mom found us and sent me home because they were having dinner? Gee thanks lady, I guess you don't want the poors coming back for free food. Or your son to have any friends. My other friends went over there (one at a time!) with the same results. Looking back, I guess his parents were trying to research what other kid's parents might be wealthy enough for their son to hang out with. or maybe for them to entertain/socialize. It was pretty gross.

I've given up on humanity, but not open source for some reason

AI has all the popularity of the spoiled vaping neighbor kid and his new drone.

Pro Tip: You can fascinate a woman with a piece of cheese

How else are people at Trader Joes going to hear Cannibal Corpse?

I saw a neighbor fill his lawnmower with gas, take the can and take a huge swig. He capped it and started his lawnmower like nothing. so many questions.

Sucks, Costco makes you buy two.

Almost makes up for being a Liverpool fan

every word of this title lowers the stakes of whatever the fuck this is about

it's like an unstable ex-girlfriend trying to get back together. and now she's down on her luck with even less to offer.

Don't smoke cigarettes ever.

Slow down at that blind corner in October 1989.

Don't take the shortcut to downtown in July 1994.

Don't lift that giant tube tv by yourself in May 2005.

Never stop exercising, playing guitar, writing, and painting/multimedia art.