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Childhood dream job (lemmy.world)
submitted 2 days ago by The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 19 points 2 days ago

I just love waking up to a flurry of emails from my boss frantically asking me to do basic tasks. It's how I know I'm a valued team member! And I do this for less and less every year due to the fact the raises are never high enough to counter inflation.

They keep telling me I'll be rich soon, guys! Oh man, I wish I were kidding...

[-] solsangraal@lemmy.zip 123 points 2 days ago

i always wanted to go the extra mile, synergize, get the ball rolling, move the needle, think outside the box, and get out of my comfort zone. permanently

[-] ikidd@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

All through a single pane of glass.

[-] RadicalEagle@lemmy.world 60 points 2 days ago

I’m glad I got the opportunity to leverage my skills and knowledge in order to drive customer engagement and deliver wins as a team.

[-] pfm@scribe.disroot.org 11 points 2 days ago

Exactly! Nowadays hardly anyone thinks about the shareholders!! Think about the shareholders!!!

[-] PauloPelle@lemmy.world 5 points 1 day ago

Oh I always think of the Shareholders! ~~Like how to jettison them into the sun or send them to the bottom of the sea to~~ get the most value!

[-] nomous@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

I just need to touch base so we can circle back.

[-] NocturnalMorning@lemmy.world 33 points 2 days ago

Don't forget to over deliver and under promise. You'll get paid the same, but it will make somebody else boatloads more money.

[-] turnipjs@lemmy.ml 11 points 2 days ago

I prefer to talk out my ass and then get started and realize that what I promised is way harder than I thought and then have no life while I manic-panic my way to delivering, somehow.

[-] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca 3 points 1 day ago

Are you me?

[-] a2part2@lemmy.zip 18 points 2 days ago

Moving the needle is so satisfying

[-] danc4498@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

I knew what synergy was and I wanted it.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

You forget to mention that you wanted to do all this going forward.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 32 points 2 days ago

I wished to sit in an open plan office where everyone could see me scratch my ass while all conversation and meetings were done via Slack and Zoom, even if we were next to each other.

[-] socsa@piefed.social 4 points 1 day ago

At least on slack there is a searchable archive created from the interaction.

[-] JasonDJ@lemmy.zip 3 points 1 day ago

Yeah do I really need a searchable archive of FlyingSquid scratching his ass?

Actually. Yeah, sign me up.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Sure, but we would literally be right next to each other and just talk via Slack. It was stupid.

[-] socsa@piefed.social 2 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I am the kind of neurodivergent where I really need that kind of built in organization, so from all of us megADHD folks out there we really appreciate your patience.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

That does make sense, but I guarantee you that few of the people I worked with were neurodivergent based on break room chatter.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I essentially quit the programming profession because of fucking open office plans. Just an absolute nightmare as far as actual productive coding environments are concerned.

[-] rayquetzalcoatl@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

They're the wet dreams of marketing departments the world over, but genuinely shit for everyone who has to concentrate on their work lol

[-] AWittyUsername@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago

Modern "open plan" offices with hot desking bullshit are not designed for neurodivergent people which are generally drawn to programming.

[-] cakey@discuss.tchncs.de 1 points 1 day ago

Even when if not neurodivergent ( allegedly ) they are not designed for programmers

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 39 points 2 days ago

It’s the hyperspecialization that is the problem. To ease the training of the labor force, they wanted to specialize everyone. However, generalists have their value too, as they act as the glue. But, management have forgotten that. All they care about employees that fit their small niche, which makes it hard for them to get employees and for others to get a job. I have given many interviews, where I was not as good with the manager’s niche and that sucked ass because whatever knowledge I am missing, I could easily learn it while working because I focussed to learning how to learn too. But, that was not good enough.

[-] _____@lemm.ee 18 points 2 days ago

It's so funny how colleagues and employees act as though their job is so niche no one could do it. Bro, YOU did it and you're just some andy (respectfully). Anyone can do it.

[-] wizardbeard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 2 days ago

I've seen some meme's about imposter syndrome along the lines of "If it was really important, wouldn't they get someone better to take care of it?" and they've actually helped me relax quite a bit about my work responsibilities.

Also, I want others to be able to do my job. Being the only person where I work familiar with my shit is such a pain in the ass! I want to work on new stuff, not be cursed to answer the same damn questions every day because no one can be bothered to read the documentation I wrote.

[-] DontMakeMoreBabies@lemm.ee 2 points 1 day ago

Absolutely my mind set - "Oh, so this is the bar? Okay..."

Frankly it just makes me sad at this point.

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 days ago

Yeah, I feel like any job should be doable by a wide range of people. I mean, the advantages are fairly obvious. I don’t know why would anyone want their jobs to be niche. If there is any work that is only doable by a handful of people, either change the way you do things or train more people to do it. At least that is what I believe.

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

I used to be a programmer and probably my best strength was my ability to talk to clients, understand their needs, and design software that satisfied those needs. There are absolutely no certifications or formal qualifications of any kind for this in the programming world and employers do not look for it or give it any weight at all when filling positions, despite its obvious importance to the success of projects.

[-] fckreddit@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

But, you don’t have 5 years of Javascript, Php, angular, react, python, c++, Kubernetes, Docker, AWS, Azure experience. How is a manager supposed to hire you?

In all seriousness though, I remember a project where we were supposed to do Point Cloud Segmentation, essentially classify which point belongs to what object. Problem was, I didn’t know the subject and there are no good textbooks because it is not yet a well formalized discipline. So, I asked my manager to buy me a course, which should give me and the team a foundation to stand up on. But, they said no. How is one supposed to do a project without actually knowing the subject, especially when most of the subject is locked behind papers that are not easily accessible.

[-] ignoble_stigmas@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

Feel you! I am literally in the same situation right now.

[-] IsThisAnAI@lemmy.world 19 points 2 days ago

Getting paid 130k+ a year is a pretty good life for writing emails.

[-] eskimofry@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago

Its essentially a trade of your soul for writing emails.

[-] IsThisAnAI@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Meh. I work 35 actual hours in front of a keyboard. I have my days but I'm happy and mostly fulfilled.

[-] tpihkal@lemmy.world 28 points 2 days ago

Ooo! Are we playing Corporate Lingo Bingo?

[-] whotookkarl@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago

Everyone wants to touch my base and I haven't even started building one yet

[-] Blackout@fedia.io 3 points 2 days ago

It was worse in the 80s. Everyone wanted to follow up Mañana. Who is this Mañana?

[-] danc4498@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

Is this Patrick Bateman? Cause I’m reading this in his voice.

[-] The_Picard_Maneuver@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

It sure is. Seems like something he might say unironically.

[-] CubitOom@infosec.pub 7 points 2 days ago

Bateman and all the other VPs did a lot of things but it didn't seem like they ever did anything that could be considered work.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8o7AhE1dphU

[-] Shadywack@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

No, it's not Bateman, that's Batman.

[-] possiblylinux127@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

What are you doing Step Robin?

[-] corsicanguppy@lemmy.ca -2 points 1 day ago

This guy wouldn't use an S to pluralize "e-mail". The UK school system didn't leave children behind.

[-] brbposting@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago

Ever since I was a

sophomore in college(?)

I knew I wanted to

work cross functionally across teams

Otherwise I might be in yesterday’s Excel meme 😳 only a lil Excel/GSheets pls

[-] Wanderer@lemm.ee 2 points 2 days ago

I think I actually did.

I always got told I could do whatever I wanted and didn't know what I wanted to do. But I figured I didn't want to do anything manual into old age so ruled that out. I knew I wanted to do a lot of different things and work with different people. But talking can be difficult.

Emails and working together with lots of other people and working on problem is great. Wearing a suit and making big decision seemed really interesting.

Work in general sucks but it beats the alternatives. Everyone on this website comes across as somewhat autistic. Dealing with people isn't the end of the world.

[-] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 2 points 2 days ago

My childhood dream job was not working in office.

[-] Lucidlethargy@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 days ago

Oh, so like, you wanted to work in a factory?

[-] ContrarianTrail@lemm.ee 2 points 2 days ago

Rather that, than work in an office, but not exactly that either. I wanted to do something that involves working with my hands, so I became a plumber, but nowdays I've got my own company and do other renovation jobs as well.

this post was submitted on 03 Oct 2024
889 points (98.9% liked)

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