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[-] Doomsider@lemmy.world 1 points 1 hour ago

He was clearly a foot man, it is in the Bible.

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 4 hours ago

That's why my dad told me to always get a receipt. It's not a business thing, it's an alibi thing!

[-] GladiusB@lemmy.world 2 points 1 hour ago

Is he still getting cigarettes?

[-] BigGovernment@lemmy.world 16 points 9 hours ago* (last edited 9 hours ago)

This is why it's common in the black community to get a receipt whenever you buy anything. You can't prove where you are at all times, but you can prove that you were at a particular time and place. Might save you from being railroaded for a crime you didn't commit.

[-] Kolanaki@yiffit.net 5 points 5 hours ago

"When the heck would I ever need to prove I paid for a doughnut?"

"When you're being tried for murder and the only alibi you got is buying a doughnut."

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago* (last edited 5 hours ago)

I have never heard that before, but that makes a depressing amount of sense.

[-] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 8 hours ago

Damn, never thought of that. There's a REASON I might need to prove I bought a doughnut!

[-] Blackmist@feddit.uk 21 points 10 hours ago

It's ok, your phone tracks your location.

So leave it at home when you go on that crime spree.

[-] nialv7@lemmy.world 4 points 4 hours ago

How will I be able to get anyway without map on my phone?

[-] amon@lemmy.world 16 points 9 hours ago

even better, lend it to a friend to carry around town

[-] Ironfacebuster@lemmy.world 20 points 12 hours ago

I like all the suggestions in here about how to avoid getting caught for murder through your phone

My tip for not getting caught would be: probably don't murder someone in the first place unless they really really deserve it

[-] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 30 minutes ago

Perfect cover, Scott....

[-] Wogi@lemmy.world 4 points 5 hours ago

There are nearly 3000 billionaires worldwide. Collectively they own 14 trillion in wealth.

This is nearly double all of the wealth held by every other person in the world, combined.

[-] BigBananaDealer@lemm.ee 7 points 10 hours ago

what is the definition of really really deserve it?

If people that did murder were convicted for actually committing murder, the US wouldn't have a police force. If everyone, or even a majority of people, convicted for murder actually committed murder there wouldn't be multiple NGOs working around the clock in the US to free people from death row.

[-] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 13 points 17 hours ago

I think if you have a Fitbit or something similar on they can prove where you are?

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 25 points 16 hours ago

Just having your phone should do that.

So, so many crimes are solved mainly through phone metadata

[-] Melatonin@lemmy.dbzer0.com 17 points 15 hours ago

Just remember boys and girls, leave your phone at home when you go murder.

[-] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 6 points 14 hours ago

Wear a mask that looks like a humans face, use common pistols or just stab the man, keep it quiet and use outfits that you can abandon with ease, check for cameras a week prior, find a safehouse that you either broke into or can guarantee it's safety

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[-] kerrypacker@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

Yeah they don't advertise it much but phone warrants are pretty insane these days, they can track the shit out of you.

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[-] frickineh@lemmy.world 81 points 1 day ago

Yeah turns out, "sitting in my room alone playing video games," isn't much of an alibi. I should get some hobbies that involve people. Like...multi-player games.

[-] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 58 points 1 day ago

This is why there are so many Twitch streamers. They get nothing out of it except for a perfect alibi.

[-] FlyingSquid@lemmy.world 1 points 5 hours ago

I am envisioning the perfect mystery novel for the proper author.

[-] prole@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 28 minutes ago

Sounds more just like a one-off episode of Poker Face or Elsbeth or some shit...

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 26 points 22 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

Funny story, (Funny might not be the right word) there actually was a killer who murdered his girlfriend because she was pregnant and didn't want an abortion.

In order to cover for this, he found out exactly how long it'd take to get to her house and back, recorded him playing GTA for that long.

He was found out because cameras on the street found him walking near her house, during the "live" event.

There were also bugs in the stream where the message "Time to die" showed up (in the context of an "ad" for a James Bond film), which were just his little way of bragging about his crime, like he was the Riddler or something.

He did too good a job with his timing, because the "glitch" happened pretty much exactly at the time of death.

I've seen enough of these "Perfect Murder Fails" go wrong, and it's usually people who think they're more clever than they really are pretty much giving all the evidence to the police.

I know of another where a film maker rented an old house, made it look like a stereotypical serial killer's lair, filmed part of a low budget horror movie on it, and then killed a guy there.

Lemme lay down some flash non-fiction written in first person to tell you how that went

"See, it looks like a murder happened here, but the brilliant part is: It's a set for a movie that I can prove I've been making! Meaning I can just not clean up after my own killing and hide in plain sight! Aaaaaand they're testing the fake blood I used because it doesn't look or smell anything like costume blood.... And I left my manifesto cleverly disguised as my script in the car that they can now search because the blood tested positive for being real blood, meaning probable cause. I'll just say it's my own blood and I wanted it to be realistic! That can salvage this! Oh right tests like that also kinda tell you who's blood it is, meaning they know it's the victms.... and my "script" describes the victim's wounds so perfectly it can't be coincidence... Wow, I'm fucked."

[-] hovercat@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 13 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

The story of the filmmaker is probably one of the funniest true crime stories I've ever heard. Obviously, the murder itself is incredibly tragic, because that shitstain just catfished some random guy and murdered him in cold blood purely to stroke his ego, but the story literally feels like a dark comedy.

However, the dude thought he was basically Dexter and far more intelligent than he actually was. He wrote a fucking screenplay describing himself as this super genius sex machine, while documenting his crime in great detail and claiming it was just a coincidence the murder lined up almost identically. Then the way he tried to cover his tracks were so comically inept, it only made his guilt even more obvious.

[-] HawlSera@lemm.ee 2 points 10 hours ago* (last edited 10 hours ago)

because that shitstain literally just catfished some random guy and murdered him in cold blood purely to stroke his ego, but the story literally feels like a dark comedy.

It gets worse, that was actually the second victim. The first one got away and refused to report it fearing he would be judged as unmanly for not being able to fight back. If he had simply called the cops, the second guy didn't need to die.

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[-] shneancy@lemmy.world 8 points 18 hours ago* (last edited 18 hours ago)

completelynormalthingtodo but sometimes i think about the perfect alibi for a crime and how you could pre-record a livestream with an excuse like "today i'm playing a VR game so sorry chat if i don't interact with you much this stream!" if you're feeling brave at the end say a vague "thank you all for watching, and thank you so much for all the donations, if you want it read though next time donate when i can see the chat haha" and would you look at that, thousands of witnesses saw you livestreaming at home, twitch.tv itself will confirm the exact time you went "live"

then all you'd have to do is get rid of the original file, best if you physically destroyed the disk it was on to prevent any chance of data recovery

probably has some flaws but i did think of it in the shower so don't use it to do crime

[-] Dagwood222@lemm.ee 9 points 16 hours ago

I just read an old [1940s?] mystery where the culprit records himself on a new fangled phonograph record and then uses that to cover his crime. His employees know he's in the habit of locking his door and playing loud music/talking to himself while he works, so no one suspects locks the door to his office. Later they all swear he was at work when the murder occurred.

[-] Yggnar@lemmy.world 6 points 18 hours ago

There is a dude who did exactly that while committing a murder and got caught. I think this article is talking about the case I'm thinking of: https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/feb/02/man-charged-with-ni-faked-live-stream-to-provide-alibi

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[-] IDKWhatUsernametoPutHereLolol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 85 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Shitty Pro Tips:

Turn on Google Maps Location History and act like a "normie". (You should probably do this for a few months to establish a good and lenthy history)

Then when you want to do ~~murder~~ surprise deprivation of someone's life, leave your phone at home and use a pre-recorded voice of you that would activate and use the Google/Siri assistant at the same time as when you do the deed.

Voila, ez alibi!

[-] Ulrich@feddit.org 3 points 10 hours ago

What's far more likely to happen if you do that is that you get caught up in a dragnet and accused of a crime you haven't committed because they know you were nearby and need a fall guy.

Lol, they already know where you are unless you turn on airplane mode every time you leave your house. (Cellular triangulation)

[-] Ulrich@feddit.org 2 points 7 hours ago* (last edited 7 hours ago)

LOL, Depends who "they" is. The NSA? Sure. Your local PD? No.

Your local PD can get your location data. They just ask and the carrier will probably comply.

[-] bamboo@lemmy.blahaj.zone 44 points 1 day ago

To be fair, if you're going to do something really illegal, you shouldn't bring your phone with you anyway, or at least put it on airplane mode. Even without Google Maps, the cell towers will triangulate your approximate location and time, and it's basically the first thing police pull if there's a crime in an area.

You'll also probably need to make sure you conceal your face as you walk by a million ring doorbell cameras, because those will rat you out and disprove your alibi.

[-] empireOfLove2@lemmy.dbzer0.com 28 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I wouldn't even trust Airplane mode, it can and will still keep GPS active and potentially log it in a way that can be accessed later. You do not truely "own" any modern cellphone and you should not consider any single activity or communication that you do on it to be private or secure.

[-] Irelephant@lemm.ee 4 points 16 hours ago

When you turn them off, they're not actually off. This way stuff like emergency calls and alarms can go through. I miss old phones where you could just pop off the battery.

[-] underwire212@lemm.ee 4 points 14 hours ago

Do you have actual source for this information? I couldn’t find anything suggesting this.

[-] b000rg@midwest.social 5 points 12 hours ago* (last edited 12 hours ago)

This is true. Apple's excuse for it is that it's used for FindMy and locking down a stolen device. So the Bluetooth and GPS and/or cellular radio still function with the device "off".

https://www.macrumors.com/guide/ios-15-find-my/

[-] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 2 points 8 hours ago* (last edited 8 hours ago)

Luckily, draining an iphones battery is really easy.

Edit: though battery depleted devices can still be tracked for hours.

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[-] 1rre@discuss.tchncs.de 63 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Even better, my location history proves I regularly go on 5 hour drives in the middle of the night so it's not at all out of character that I drove to the middle of the woods where the body was found at 3am

wait that's not a good thing is it

what do you mean they found more bodies

[-] RogueBanana@lemmy.zip 15 points 21 hours ago

Now you gotta tell us where are you driving to at night. No I am not a fed, I just work in the sunglass store.

[-] robocall@lemmy.world 3 points 8 hours ago

People don't wear sunglasses at night

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this post was submitted on 09 Jan 2025
678 points (99.1% liked)

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