• Has faith in the Lord
• Believes that God saved Trump from assassin's bullet
• Ergo: put Trump in the path of every hurricane, enjoy being protected by proximity.

You don't put God to thw test by putting yourself in a dangerous situation and expecting him to just save you from your own stupidity.

I distinctly remember God had Noah build the boat himself...

The same lord that skullfucks your life right now?

"The Lord" is telling you to fucking move. "The Lord" does not reach down from on high.

Someone better be polishing the Darwin Awards.

Reminds me of the Parable of the Drowning Man

A storm descends on a small town, and the downpour soon turns into a flood. As the waters rise, the local preacher kneels in prayer on the church porch, surrounded by water. By and by, one of the townsfolk comes up the street in a canoe.

"Better get in, Preacher. The waters are rising fast."

"No," says the preacher. "I have faith in the Lord. He will save me."

Still the waters rise. Now the preacher is up on the balcony, wringing his hands in supplication, when another guy zips up in a motorboat.

"Come on, Preacher. We need to get you out of here. The levee's gonna break any minute."

Once again, the preacher is unmoved. "I shall remain. The Lord will see me through."

After a while the levee breaks, and the flood rushes over the church until only the steeple remains above water. The preacher is up there, clinging to the cross, when a helicopter descends out of the clouds, and a state trooper calls down to him through a megaphone.

"Grab the ladder, Preacher. This is your last chance."

Once again, the preacher insists the Lord will deliver him.

And, predictably, he drowns.

A pious man, the preacher goes to heaven. After a while he gets an interview with God, and he asks the Almighty, "Lord, I had unwavering faith in you. Why didn't you deliver me from that flood?"

God shakes his head. "What did you want from me? I sent you two boats and a helicopter."

The biggest problem, 25% (or however many) will survive this and be unharmed. Those are the ones others will hear about because god saved them. It will not matter how many believers died.

The wind does not respect a fool.

That faith won't keep the water out, stupid. Man, nothing fails like prayer.

Good for them and no worries. Anything bad happens to them and we have thoughts and prayers ready and waiting to take care of it.

Maybe it's because I'm not from hurricane country, but I'll never understand why people refuse to leave when told. Are they afraid looters are going to get their stuff? Then just file an insurance claim when you get back. People seem so obstinately stubborn about it for no discernable reason.

Others who fled spoke of their dread at what, if anything, they would return to once the storm had passed.

At least they won't be part of the debris.

Why would their god send a murderous hurricane then protect them from it? Feels like mafia tactics to make people rely on it.

P.s. the second 'it' refers to their god

Who sent the hurricane?

Well, bless their hearts!

Natural selection in action

I wonder if they'll ever consider that an almighty god could, you know, NOT send the hurricane instead.

And the Lord said, I sent ye a sign. A sign that said evacuate, and ye didn’t listen.

In Venice, about 40 miles (64km) to the south, Sherry Hall and her family decided to stay in their house several blocks from the ocean, despite many of their neighbors leaving amid warnings of a storm surge up to 15ft. Her husband, Tommy, prepared the property with shutters and sandbags, and she said they had generators, portable air conditioning units, and plenty of water and food to be self-sufficient.

Let me know how well the portable AC & generators work in 15ft of water, Sherry.

Fewer Republican voters in Florida, got it.

Jesus take the wheel!

William Tokajer, police chief of Holmes Beach, told islanders who planned to stay to write their names, dates of birth and social security numbers on their limbs with Sharpies to help identify their bodies after the storm.

This isn't a new suggestion. I remember this being told to people staying in spite of evac orders for a previous nasty storm, iirc it was Key West hearing it that time. It scared the shit out of some people back then and convinced them to leave, sadly the more times you hear something like that the less impact it has. And your neighbor managed to ride it out last time they said that...